


You Will Be Found

by shannyfish



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: ARGUS, Adrian Chase mentioned, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, Lian Yu, Major Character Injury, Near Death Experiences, Post Finale, Post Lian Yu, Purgatory, Season 5 Finale, Team Arrow, implantable bio stimulant, olicity - Freeform, post 5x23
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2018-11-05 03:10:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11004735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: Picks up from where the season five finale (5x23 - Lian Yu) leaves off.





	1. Hope in the Dark

_ Have you ever felt like nobody was there _

_ Have you felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere _

_ Have you ever felt like you could disappear _

_ Like you could fall and no one would hear _

 

_ Well, let that lonely feeling wash away _

_ Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay _

_ Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand _

_ You can reach, reach out your hand _

 

_ And oh, someone will come running _

_ And I know they'll take you home _

 

_ Even when the dark comes crashing through _

_ When you need a friend to carry you _

_ And when you're broken on the ground _

_ You will be found _

_ ~ "You Will Be Found" from Dear Evan Hansen _

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

"My mom," he heard William gasp.

 

Oliver just stared at what was left of Lian Yu for a moment.  It wasn't just his mother that was back there, it was every single person in the world that he considered friend and family.  It was the woman that he loved.  

 

_ Just in case. _

 

That's what Felicity had said.

 

Looking down at his son, he sucked in a deep breath and known in that moment that what his father had done almost a decade before he would have done for his own son to survive.  Maybe he had done that.  Was this some twisted form of suicide?  Chase wanted him to suffer, to lose everything.  He'd told him that he'd either lose William or everyone else and in the end that he was lose himself too.  

 

_ Move, Oliver _ , he heard Felicity's voice in his head.  

 

Blinking rapidly, he kept back the tears and steadied himself.  Looking around, he started to put steps together of what he had to do.  He turned William away from Chase's body, putting his hands on the railing of the boat.  "Just stay here.  Don't turn around."  His voice was soft and low.  William had likely seen the state that Chase had left himself in, but Oliver was trying his best to shield him from the horror of it all.  

 

"He's dead, isn't he?" 

 

"Yeah," Oliver said.  "Just stay like this for a minute."

 

It was hard to move away from William, still worried that he might disappear.  Oliver made  himself, though.  He thought of all the people that were depending on him and that he needed to look for.  Right now, he needed to get himself to the point of that happening.  He swung open the door to down below and dragged Chase's body into there.  He looked around and grabbed anything that might be useful.  Oliver didn't want there to be any reason for that door to be opened again, to keep William shielded from Chase's bloody body.  

 

When he closed the door, he looked towards his son and was thankful that he hadn't moved.  Stepping away from the door, Oliver hesitantly reached out to touch William's shoulder.  

 

"My mom was on that island," William whispered as he turned quickly into Oliver, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing tightly.  

 

He hadn't missed the tears running down his son's face and just held him in that moment.  "We're going to the island to find them," Oliver told him, trying to stay calm.  It was all he could do in that moment.  If he lost it, then whoever was still alive would never be found.  

 

"It just blew up!" William told him hysterically as he half motioned towards the land mass.  "My mom--she's dead--"

 

"No."  Keeping his son close, Oliver moved to the boat's wheel, trying to ignore the blood in that area.  "It's not just your mom on that island," Oliver tried to explain.  "It's my team...they were with your mom...and they're smart.  They'll have figured out a way to stay safe, they knew that the explosives were there."

 

"Are you really the Green Arrow?" William asked after some time.

 

Oliver moved his attention to where the boat was headed down to William who was looking up at him.  "Yes."

 

"And my father?"

 

"Yes."

 

"He said that it was your fault."

 

"He wasn't lying," Oliver told him.  He knew that this had to be a conversation, but right that moment wasn't the time to get into it.  He also didn't think that William was quite old enough for that conversation.  "Being the Green Arrow makes everyone I love a target, which includes you and your mom."

 

"And your friends?"

 

"Yes," Oliver told him.

 

William looked back towards the island again and went silent.  

 

"I know you must have so many questions and I promise you that I will answer them all," Oliver promised. 

 

The rest of the boat trip back to Lian Yu was silent.  The dock that had once been there was gone.  Obliterated.  Lian Yu looked a lot more like purgatory now than it had when he'd been a resident of the island.  He looked around, trying to get his bearings.  He knew where the plane was or at least the general direction of the plane from Felicity and Curtis.  That was where they'd head next.  

 

This island that he'd spent so much time on...it was just gone.  It still was there, but at the same time it wasn't.  It wasn't the same.  It wasn't that he would miss what it once was.  It didn't erase the memories.  It didn't erase what the island had meant to him.  it didn't erase who he'd become from making it to that island.  

 

When they'd gotten to where the plane had once been, all they found was debris.  Fiery debris.  He had to look, though.  Oliver couldn't just glance at the wreckage from the boat.  He needed to go out there and walk it, to see if they'd all been standing there when the island had gone up.  Moving the boat as close to the island as he safely could, he looked over to William.  "I have to go check."

 

"Please don't go."

 

"I'm only going to be a minute.  I have to check--"

 

"If there are bodies?"

 

Oliver stared at his son for a moment and then crouched down in front of him, his hand going to William's shoulder, and his eyes meeting his son's.  "Yes," he said gently.  He couldn't lie, not about this.  "My team is good, I'm not expecting bodies, but I still have to check because this is where they were...and if nothing else maybe there's a clue."

 

"But everything blew up.  How could there be a clue?" William asked getting upset.

 

"I'm only going to be a minute," Oliver repeated.  "You stay with the boat.  You'll be able to see me the whole time."

 

There was no shock when he hit the water.  He'd spent much time on that island and in the water during different seasons.  In that moment especially, Oliver was numb to it.  His eyes on the shoreline before he briefly looked back over his shoulder to where William was.  Focusing on what he was doing, he made his way to the shore.  He knew that it would really take longer than a minute, but there was something comforting when you were a kid to it taking just a minute.  He stopped right short of where the water hit the shoreline, his chest clenching, and his lungs refusing to work in that moment.  Oliver felt lightheaded, like he was going to pass out, his balance started to wan, his legs started to give out, and though he fell he also caught himself in the water.  It brought him face to face as breath pushed from him with what had shaken him.  Right there on the shoreline were a pair of glasses, they were broken, but he knew exactly who they belonged to.

 

Felicity.

 

His fingers grabbed at them, but it took him a few attempts as tears clouded his vision and sobs filled his chest.  Finally he was able to grab them and straighten.  He looked back at the boat, hoping that he hadn't worried William, he saw him there looking at him.  Oliver managed a nod, hoping that the simple motion would convey that he was okay.  

 

He wasn't sure he was.

 

Oliver moved away from the water, holding tight to the glasses, and carefully looked around.  The remainder of the island looked nothing like he remembered.  It wasn't just that it had been blown up, every single bit of plantlife was seared and nowhere near where it had been originally growing.  The familiar silhouette of Lian Yu had been drastically transformed forever.  Drawing in breath, he turned three-sixty and took in the charred metal components that had somehow landed back on that shoreline from the plane and the bits and pieces of everything else.  Nothing looked like bodies, though he knew that with the explosion that had taken place that bodies wouldn't necessarily have been along that shoreline where they'd been standing.

 

No, they were alive.

 

They had to be.

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

"Can't we call for help?"

 

"We're in the North China Sea," Oliver said quietly.  "And the radio doesn't work."

 

"They probably don't speak English either."

 

"I speak Mandarin," Oliver put out there.  Sure, this wasn't necessarily the time to talk about this, but it was a moment.  He'd lost so much time with William and he didn't want to miss anything more, even if that meant them learning small things about each other.  He already knew that William preferred the Flash, he still wasn't completely thrilled with that (though Barry was adorable).  

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"That's cool, I guess."

 

"I didn't learn it at school, I was never good at school, but I was living in Hong Kong for a while and I just had to learn it to live there."

 

William seemed a little calmer since he'd gotten back on the boat, Oliver had noticed.  "How are you so sure that they're all okay?" William questioned.  

 

"Because I have faith...and I know them."

 

"Where could they be?"

 

ARGUS.

 

The ARGUS prison.

 

"I might know," Oliver whispered as he changed the direction of the boat.  ARGUS would have built the prison to withstand a lot.  Sure, there were all kinds of caves and structures (apparently) on the island, but the secret ARGUS prison had to be more fortified and more likely to withstand the entire island being blown up.  

 

"Where?"

 

"There's a prison on this island."

 

"A prison?"

 

"It only had two prisoners, but I let them out."

 

"Why would you do that?"

 

"To help me save you."

 

William just stared at him, he was obviously confused.

 

He hadn't been the only one.

 

"It's a long story."

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

It had taken some time and Oliver had hated having to take William along with him because there was so much fear inside of him that he'd saved William and that possible unknown danger lay in the island.  That island was never just what it was.  There was always a fight for darkness and light there, maybe that was why it was so aptly named Lian Yu.  

 

"Is that blood?"

 

Oliver saw it too.

 

What he took as a better sign was that the door to the prison was closed.  The hatch seemed sealed and the entire thing just looked like it was still intact.  The blood was on the concrete exterior of the tunnel that led downwards and into the prison.  It was a miracle that the blood was even visible though between the dirt and debris scattered everywhere.  As it was, he was going to have to move a rather large part of a tree from the top of the hatch, which made him wonder if the hatch was really closed or if the tree was just holding it down.  

 

_ There's always another way _ , he knew Felicity would say.

 

This had to be that other way.

 

"Stand right here a minute, okay?" he asked.  William just gave him a nod.  Oliver moved towards the large piece of tree and slowly worked on moving it away.  He didn't need to move it much, he knew gravity would do the rest.  It was so much heavier than he expected, but that didn't faze him, instead he just channeled everything he had to move it.  He let go and let gravity take over nearly immediately as he stepped back to keep himself from getting injured.  Stepping up to the round hatch, his hands on the wheel.  Turning it proved not as easily done as when he'd done it every other time.  That didn't stop him.  He pulled the door open and back once it had unlocked.  

 

William was right by his side by that point.  

 

"I'll go first," Oliver told him.  He wasn't sure what was down there, but he also couldn't just leave his son up there.  What if there was some other threat on the island?  He'd seen people die and had them come back...and he'd been one of those people.  Dead was never really dead in his world far too often when it came to enemies especially.

 

"Kid?" came a familiar voice.

 

Oliver looked down, he was already coming down the ladder when he'd heard the voice.

 

Slade was standing there at the bottom, no armor or anything, but there.  That gave him some hope.  "I see you found your kid," Slade said.

 

"The others?"

 

"Merlyn didn't make it."

 

Oliver wasn't sure how to feel about that, except to be worried about Thea.  No matter how much his sister disliked him, he was still her biological father.  No matter how messed up Malcolm had been in regards to both Tommy and Thea, losing a parent was never an easy thing.  Now, Thea had lost three.  He hadn't been there for her...but he hoped he still could be.

 

As he reached the bottom of the ladder, he turned to ensure that William was doing okay.  

 

"Chase?"

 

"Dead," Oliver reported.

 

"Ms. Smoak did say that he had some twisted dead man switch, I guess the thing worked," Slade commented.

 

It worked too well was all he could think as he waited for William's feet to touch the ground.  The heavy duty ARGUS door was open and he could see people sitting around inside, some in the cells and others just sitting on the floor leaning against the bars.  He noticed as they moved inside that some of the walls near the stairs were cracked.  It wasn't completely bomb-proof, but it was good enough.  

 

"William!"

 

It was Samantha.  She was on her feet and rushed to him immediately, tears falling down her face, and her arms wrapping tightly around him once she had him.  

 

"Oh my god!  Are you okay?  Are you okay?" she questioned and pulled back to cup his face.

 

"I'm okay," came William's quiet reply.

 

Samantha pressed a kiss to his forehead before strangling him in a hug once again.  "I was so worried.  I don't know what I'd do if something had happened to you."

 

Oliver knew that they needed space.  He needed to give it.  As he took a step away, he looked around, Nyssa was sitting next to Quentin on a bench in one of the cells.  They both sent a smile his way, but the way they smiled was almost sad.  Rene and Dinah were sitting on the ground not far from Quentin and Nyssa.  He turned to look in the direction where the others were.  Diggle had found a chair (likely one that the guards used) while Thea and Felicity were curled up together on their sides on the floor and Curtis was sitting at the other end where their feet were. 

 

"Is everyone okay?" he asked.  Oliver hadn't expected Thea and Felicity to be sleeping, but at the same time they'd been through a lot.  

 

"Do you have a boat?" Slade asked.

 

"Yeah," Oliver said, his attention temporarily diverted to Slade.  "It's not far."

 

"Let's get out of here then."

 

His attention went back to Felicity and Thea, the two people he wanted to hug most now that they'd found everyone.  His heart skipped a beat though when he realized only one of them was moving and it was Thea.  

 

"Felicity?" Oliver breathed out as he watched how gentle his sister was with her.  In that moment he also noticed the looks everyone was giving him, apologetic and sad.  He moved to her and Thea and crouched down.  "What happened?" 

 

Thea sat up and stared at her brother for a moment.  "We were above.  Felicity grabbed me and pushed me down first right as one of the explosives went off.  It knocked her into the wheel on the submarine door up top and then she fell all the way down here.  No one saw or knows exactly if she hit anything else on the way down."

 

"We're fairly sure that it damaged the biostimulant," Curtis spoke up.

 

"Or she has spinal cord damage," Diggle added.  "I'm also concerned that she might have internal injuries."

 

"Slade found some medical supplies, so she's drugged up at least.  She shouldn't be in pain," Curtis offered.

 

"We need to get her to a hospital ASAP though."

 

And he wasn't going to argue or challenge that.  If Felicity had to be drugged, then she obviously had to have been in a world of pain if Diggle gave them to her.  Oliver just took all of what was said for a moment and then gave a slow nod.  "Okay, let's get everyone to the surface and then to the boat."

 

"Is there a radio on the boat?" Dinah questioned.

 

"It doesn't work," William answered before Oliver could.

 

He was right.

 

"Maybe Curtis can look at it," Oliver put out there.

 

He exchanged looks with Thea and Diggle at first before he carefully scooped up Felicity.  The group of them moved out of the prison area and towards where the stairs were.  Oliver didn't miss the bag that Slade was carrying.  "What are you bringing?"

 

"I'm not going all the way back to Star City with you, Kid," Slade told him.  "I'm bringing the medical supplies for the boat and my new suit that you were so kind to bring to me wherever I decide to disappear…"

 

"What about your son?" 

 

"I haven't decided yet."

 

"See him."

 

"I said I haven't decided."  Slade tilted his head to the side.  "One thing I know for sure is that if we don't get Ms. Smoak to a proper hospital than she's going to die."

 

Without words, Diggle took Felicity from him and between the two of them they carefully draped her into a fireman's carry position draped across his shoulders.  

 

It took some time, but eventually they were all on the boat.  There also came the decision that Chase's body was to be removed from the boat and put on Lian Yu.  Diggle and Slade moved him to the prison.  There would be time later for a proper burial, but right now they didn't have the time.  They needed to be able to keep the boat balanced with so many people on board.  Normally he was certain that the boat would hold no more than four to six people.  They were looking at twelve people.  They just needed to get to the mainland and to get Felicity help.  After that, then they could figure out where everyone was going.  His team would return back to Star City with him, but he had no idea where Nyssa and Slade would go.  He had no idea if Samantha and William would go back into hiding, back to Central City, or figure something else out.  He hoped that he'd be able to see more of his son now that the threat of Chase was gone, but there would always be threats in the future...and Oliver just couldn't make that choice for them.  

 

Curtis and Diggle had been the ones who had moved Felicity to the boat itself.  Without a dock, they'd all had to tread and even swim through water in order to get to the boat.  

 

Getting people settled was difficult.  Diggle had tried to make the inside space they did have in the boat so that any blood that might have been in there was covered with a tarp at the very least.  Samantha and William wanted to be out on the deck.  They'd figured out a way to keep the door open to allow for ventilation and so far, Oliver didn't know what to do or where to go on the small vessel.  Slade was the one at the controls now.  It left Oliver without a specific purpose and he was torn at what to do next.  He had been trying to continue to give Samantha and William space, but at the same time that was difficult.  He wanted to sit with Felicity too, but he felt selfish for wanting to do that.

 

"Where we?" came a slurred but familiar voice.  

 

He moved to the room where Felicity was right inside with Thea, Curtis, Quentin, and Nyssa.  Oliver stood close to the door, not wanting to crowd.  Felicity was awake though, she looked worse, he realized.  

 

"We're on a boat," Thea told her.  "We're heading towards somewhere we can get you help."

 

"Sat phone," Felicity said.

 

"We don't have one," Curtis spoke up.

 

Felicity just seemed to smile at that.  Her hand extended and she seemed to be trying to grab the bag that Slade had brought with him.  "Lyla...call...we could call…"

 

Oliver didn't ask questions, he just moved to the bag and started to go through it.  In the very bottom he found a satellite phone.  Why hadn't Slade mentioned it?  If Diggle had known, then he would have already called Lyla, called for ARGUS backup.  None of that had happened, but why?

 

"It probably wouldn't have worked in the prison," Curtis brought up.  "Between how heavily fortified that place is and the whole blowing up of the island."

 

"It'll work now?" Nyssa asked.

 

Oliver held it out to her.  "Take it to John.  He can get ARGUS out here."

 

Nyssa didn't say anything else, she just took the phone and left them.  

 

Moving to Felicity's side, he stroked her cheek and he had no idea how she could still be smiling like she was.  It was like nothing had happened to her.  He remembered the last time when she'd been like this was when she'd been in the hospital when she'd first had her spinal cord injury.  "We're going to get you help," he told her gently.

 

"I was trying to convince Thea to tell me stories," Felicity said before a pain filled groan left her lips and she cringed.  "About when you two were kids...and all I got was shot up with something."

 

"You're in pain...and you were in pain…"

 

"I think I might like consciousness better," she whispered.  "If I get to have the choice...and I should."

 

"You were moving too much when you were in that much pain," Thea told her.  

 

"I'm sure ARGUS is on their way right now," Oliver told her.

 

Felicity blinked quickly, like she was trying to stay awake.  "Will you tell me a story?"

 

"Are you in pain?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Yes, but with conditions…"

 

Felicity grumbled a bit.  "Thea's definitely the more sneaky Queen…"

 

Thea laughed at that.

 

Oliver couldn't help but smile.  He found the painkillers in the bag and prepared a syringe.  "I will tell you a story about me and Thea as kids if you let me give you this."

 

"Okay," Felicity agreed.

 

"Really?"

 

"Really," Felicity told him.  "I hurt enough to agree to that."

 

That didn't make him feel any better.  It made him feel worse, in fact, but at the same time he knew that it would ease her pain and allow her to sleep...hopefully until they could get her to some real help.  "When Thea and I were little, we were always asking our parents to take us on business trips to other places."  He injected Felicity with the pain medication.  "We thought that there had to be something fun like an amusement park in every corner of the world.  So, one time they took us to London with them.  It was definitely cool and we had a good time, but Thea kept wanting something like Disneyland."

 

"Which was totally paid off by me being a brat because we got to go to Disney Paris," Thea chimed in proudly.  

 

Oliver smiled at that.  "My parents were so irritated with us, but once we got there...it was like being there fixed everything.  Not just Thea and I behaving, but with my parents...with us all as a family."

 

"That was my favorite vacation ever."

 

Turning to look back at Felicity, he found that she'd nodded back off.  She'd already looked like she was having a hard time staying awake, so maybe it had just been enough to take the edge of the pain to allow her to rest.  "We'll be home soon," he whispered before pressing a kiss to her forehead.  "Just rest."

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

  
TBC…

 

 

 


	2. Mistakes of the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to follow me on Tumblr (shannyfishwriter) for updates, sneak peeks, and what to look for! :D

The wait for ARGUS felt like an eternity.  

 

But they came.

 

Lyla had sent the closest of her people to rescue them.  They had been taken back to the closest ARGUS facility, but that's where people separated from them.  Slade and Nyssa had left immediately upon landing.  Oliver hadn't expected them to stay around, especially not when he'd been the one to have Slade locked up in that ARGUS prison on Lian Yu in the first place.  But there were others that were ordered away, orders that came directly from Lyla...that came quickly...and without advanced warning.

 

He, Felicity, Diggle, and Curtis were all to stay at the ARGUS facility until Felicity could be moved.  Everyone else, though, was on an ARGUS plane back to Star City.  

 

"No!  I have to stay!" Thea shouted as she was forced towards the plane.

 

Oliver knew what would come next, Thea .   could fight and she would.  He moved towards his sister, grabbing her arm and pulling her to him.  Thea felt responsible.  Not only that, his sister loved Felicity.  "I need you to go home with them," Oliver told her as he spun her around until he was facing her, hands on her shoulders.  "I need to know that they're all taken care of.  I need you to be there to make sure that they're safe.  William's your nephew, Thea."  

 

He could tell that he was getting through to her even though she was clearly displeased with his words.  "I'm going to keep you updated," Oliver told her as he watched as Diggle escorted the others onto the plane.  Curtis was with Felicity, working with ARGUS medical in order to remove the implant in her spine for the time being.  "Please, Thea, I need you to do this for me.  I know that you stepped down from the team and that--"

 

"Okay," Thea said finally.  She looked exhausted and just done fighting, probably because she knew better.  "But you  _ better  _ keep me updated."  

 

Pulling Thea tighter to him, Oliver pressed a kiss to the side of her head.  "I love you."

 

"I love you."

 

Walking Thea into the plane, he moved to talk to Samantha and William.  It was harder still to let them go, to know that they'd be going somewhere and he wouldn't be there to protect them or help them.  He knew though that Thea would do what she could in his absence.  "I'm not sure exactly what's the right thing to say," Oliver told them honestly.  "I shouldn't be here for long and Thea's going to watch out for both of you."

 

"Oliver, is it safe for us?" Samantha questioned frankly.  "Can we go home to Central City?"

 

"There will always be a danger out there that might come for you and William and I wish I could take that away, but Chase has proven that you can never go too far underground without being found," Oliver said.  "I don't know if you'd feel comfortable staying in Star City with Thea until I get back?  We can always figure out something else."

 

"I'm not sure," Samantha said.  

 

Oliver just shook his head, feeling like her response was fair.  "I understand.  I--"

 

Samantha put her hand on his arm.  "You kept your promise, Oliver.  You brought back William, you kept him safe...right now, be with Felicity.  We'll go back with your sister."

 

Crouching down, he hugged William.  "I'm sorry for everything."

 

"I hope Felicity's okay," William said as he hugged Oliver back.  

 

"Thanks."

 

He straightened up and turned to the others.  Diggle had been talking to them and he knew that he didn't really need to formally say goodbye to any of them, they'd all see each other soon enough.  Lance stepped forward though and hugged him, which surprised him and caught him off guard.  

 

"You take care of our girl, okay?" Quentin said.

 

"I will."

 

"We'll see you soon.  We have a city to run."

 

Being the mayor of Star City had been the furthest thing from his thoughts during this whole time, but Lance was right.  They had more things to do, more saving, and more bettering of the city that they all called home.  

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

"You should have gone with them."

 

"Don't say that."

 

"I'm not saying that I don't want you here, I'm just saying that Curtis and John are here...you could have gone with William."

 

"William's not about to have major spinal surgery," Oliver pointed out.  "And I _ wanted  _ to be here."

 

"I'm going to be okay."

 

"You're always doing that," he told her as tears fell from his eyes, he moved closer and took her hands between his before pressing a kiss into it.  "You don't have to be the strong one all of the time."

 

Felicity just smiled at him and then reached out to touch his head.  "Where do you think I learned it from?"

 

"Felicity, I--"

 

"Kiss me."

 

He was taken aback by that.  "What?"

 

"Kiss me."

 

And he did.

 

He kissed her like this might be the last kiss that the two of them shared.  He kissed her like there was no tomorrow.  The future wasn't guaranteed.  "I love you," he whispered against her lips as his fingers ran along her cheek. 

 

"It's time," said someone behind them.

 

He wasn't ready.

 

She was.

 

He didn't want to have to let her out of his sight, but he knew it was coming...it was coming now.  More tears fell from his eyes and his insides twisted.  Oliver kissed her again and found himself being pulled back.  

 

"I love you," Felicity said brightly.

 

"Come on," Diggle said as he guided Oliver out of the room as Felicity was being wheeled out.  

 

They'd already been told about how long the surgery would take if things went well.  It was more to give her some relief more than anything.  The implant that Curtis had made so that she could walk had already been removed.  The problem was the damage to her spine, they had waited for swelling to reduce, but they wanted to look to see if there was anything they could repair.  He'd zoned out at one point, fearing the worse for Felicity, but he knew that they had talked about pins and crushed vertebrae and fractures.  

 

"You should sleep."

 

"I don't think I can."

 

Diggle sighed and patted his back.  "Man, I know what you mean, but out of all of us...you probably need sleep the most.  I'll wake you when the surgery's done."

 

"I just honestly don't think I could relax enough to sleep knowing what's going on.  Chase is dead, but none of it is over…"  Oliver was extremely quiet then, thinking about everything that had happened.  "He won."  It was then that Oliver was taken by surprise by a wack to the back of his head.  

 

"Did you hit your head?  Did you not see that you have William?  That everyone else is alive and going to be okay?" Diggle started on with clear irritation in his voice and expression.

 

"That's not what I mean."

 

"Well, that's what you should  _ see _ ."

 

"John--"

 

"Don't make me pull Felicity out of that surgery to lecture you about everything you have," Diggle told him far too seriously.  

 

Oliver sighed and shook his head.  Maybe he was the one that really needed the sleep.  No matter, he wasn't going to be able to.  He knew that.  Not knowing that not far from them they were operating on Felicity's spine.  They already knew that the nerve damage that she'd sustained because of Darhk was permanent, but with this injury Curtis wasn't sure if his biostimulant implant would be able to allow Felicity to walk like before. 

 

"Because you know I will."

 

And he would.

 

"Where's Curtis?" Oliver asked instead.  

 

"In the lab."

 

"I know that Felicity can do anything she puts her mind to--"

 

"Leave it at that.  She's stronger than she thinks, we both know that.  This isn't going to be the end for her...or any of us," Diggle told him.  "There's too much more good we can do out in the world."

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

As hard as it was for him to worry over Felicity, he'd still ended up falling asleep waiting for her to come out of surgery.  He'd been sitting upright in the chair, but he hadn't felt too horrible about it because Diggle had been sleeping when he'd scared himself awake.  He'd been having a nightmare, he always hated the ones that included her.  They'd always been so happy at first in his dreams...and sometimes it was just a happy one, but too many times it ended in horror and agony.  It was always too real.  Maybe that was one of the main reasons why he'd pushed back at having a relationship with Felicity so many times.  The thing was, he was so much better with her...whether they were in a romantic relationship or not.

 

He sucked in a heavily breath and roughly rubbed his palms over his face.  Oliver was still dressed in his Green Arrow leather suit and it felt wrong.  He unzipped the jacket, shed his gloves, and peeled the leather from his body.  He had a black tank top underneath it and he felt like it was a slight weight off of him.  Oliver looked down at the watch on his wrist and sighed.  He'd slept through two hours...but no one had come out and he knew that they said it could take much longer depending on what they found and what needed to be done.

 

Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and covered his face.  Breathing was all he was focusing on.  It was all he could do in that moment and to think happy thoughts.  He thought about everything he wanted to say to Felicity when she finally came out of surgery.  He wanted to say all the things that he knew that he'd regret might be left unsaid.  

 

Oliver wanted to just see her smile.

 

He wanted to run away with her (again).

 

To go back to traveling.

 

All he wanted was for simple moments with her.

 

Happy moments.

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

Diggle was awake before the doctor came out to talk to them.  Napping for a couple of hours and then waking to no new news had seemingly just amped up both their worry and anxiety levels in the situation.  They paced a bit, giving each other space just the same as they made worry paths in the waiting area they were occupying.

 

The doctor did come out and they were both waiting.  Turned on a dime and moved quickly towards him.  "Is she okay?" Oliver managed to get out.  "Can we see her?"

 

Holding up his hands, the doctor was silent for a moment.  "Ms. Smoak made it through surgery," he stated first off.  "She's still unconscious, but stable."  The doctor was talking far too slow for either man's patience.  The doctor didn't speed up on their account, in fact it felt like his responses were coming slower.  "You'll be able to see her once she's awake again and we're able to assess her pain level."

 

"Her spine?" 

 

"The next twenty-four hours will be crucial in that answer."

 

"So, we basically just have to wait?" Diggle questioned.

 

The doctor gave a nod.  "I'm afraid that's correct.  I know that you're going to want to transfer her, which should be safe to do in about twenty four to forty eight hours from now.  You should get some sleep, I can always have a nurse come and get you when Ms. Smoak is awake."

 

Oliver just didn't think he could sleep without seeing her with his own eyes.  "Doctor, I know she's not awake, but is there anyway I could just _ see _ her?" he asked urgently.  "Just for a minute?  Even if it's from the other side of a window?"

 

"Sure," the doctor said, his voice dropping to a quiet understanding.  "This way," he said as he motioned for them to follow him through the door.

 

Though he wasn't alone, it certainly felt that way.  

 

When they finally got to the room, the nurses were inside still adjusting Felicity's bed and setting things up.  Oliver and Diggle were left alone to look in from the window.  She looked pale.  It was terrifying.  All he could think was that there were so many things he'd wished he'd said.  "Remember all those years ago when she insisted on being part of the team officially?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"I said that we could protect her," Oliver said, his eyes never leaving her still form.  "But the truth is, we can't…"

 

"But we all do the best we can."

 

"What if that's not enough?"

 

He heard the chuckle and obvious smile that came in Diggle's voice next.  "You know who you sound like?"

 

Oliver looked over to him now, quiet as they spoke.  "Who?"

 

"Me when I'm thinking about Lyla and J.J.," Diggle explained.  "I mean, Lyla can handle herself, but there's so many evils in this world, Oliver...how do we protect those we love from every single one?"  He shrugged.  "You just do the best you can and when bad things happen, you rely on your friends to have your back and get them back together.  That's how we've always done it.  Maybe you're just realizing that you and Felicity really are supposed to be together."

 

He didn't know what to say to that.  

 

Diggle patted his shoulder.  "Think about it.  Think about what you're going to say to her when you wake up."  He sucked in a breath.  "Think about all the things you would have regretted if she'd not made it out of surgery.  Just...think about it."  Diggle left him then.

 

For a few more minutes, Oliver let Diggle's words and that alternate reality sink into him.  It was ugly and unthinkable.  It could have happened, though…

 

He could have lost her.

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

There was no sleeping.

 

Diggle, though, was fast asleep.  Oliver had drifted at one point and then had immediately scared himself back awake.  He'd had the briefest and most terrifying dream of finding Felicity dead in his sister's arms in the ARGUS prison on Lian Yu.  He could still hear Thea crying.  He could vividly remember feeling his heart break in that moment.  

 

It wasn't true, though.

 

So he lay there, staring up into the darkness.  The doctor had said that a nurse would come and so far, no one had even so much as made any noise outside of the room they were sleeping in.  John's words though kept running through his mind.  What regrets would he have?  Could they really have everything?  They'd tried it before--  

 

Had they both just not been ready?

 

Being in a relationship had to require both people to be on the same page.  Oliver knew that he had a long list of cons as a boyfriend, but Felicity always saw the good in him.  Sometimes he didn't even know how it was possible.  Squeezing his eyes shut, he sucked in a breath, and tried to think if he had it in him to make it work.  There were so many facets to a relationship and he knew that some of them would be difficult for them.  The biggest one he knew was trust.  He did trust her, he just needed to communicate better and to figure out how to balance being protective and trusting.

 

"You figure it out yet?"

 

"I thought you were sleeping."

 

"I could hear you thinking."

 

Oliver smiled and shook his head.  

 

"So, will the wedding be back on?"

 

"I haven't even _ seen  _ her--"

 

"Do you _ really _ think that Felicity wouldn't want to be with you?" Diggle questioned from the other side of the dark room.  "She still believes in you, Man.  She loves you.  I don't think that's ever going to go away...no matter what comes between the two of you."

 

"I just don't know how to make it work without screwing it up, I'm really good at--"

 

"Self sabotage."

 

Oliver frowned at that.  "I wasn't going to say it quite like that…"

 

"That's why I said it."  Diggle paused for a long moment.  "So?"

 

"So, I'll talk to her when she wakes up...and we'll...we'll figure things out," Oliver told him.  "I don't think that things will be so quick though."

 

"You know, it hasn't always been easy between Lyla and I."

 

"You said you both did better when you were in the middle of a war."

 

"Yeah," Diggle told him.  "Life gives us second chances to make things right and sometimes more chances than that."  

 

Silence stretched out between them.

 

"Learn from Lyla and I, Oliver," Diggle said.  There was a beat.  "Plus, Felicity's already been training you since day one."

 

Oliver let out a laugh then right as there was a knock at the door.  He sat up immediately as the door was opened.

 

"I'm to let you know that Ms. Smoak has woken up and that you can see her now," the nurse said.

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

TBC…

 

 

 


	3. Moments Like These

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to follow me on Tumblr (shannyfishwriter) and Twitter (shannyfish) for all kinds of things including updates and sneak peeks.

Oliver stopped outside of the room, but Diggle was already inside.  It was like the oxygen and every word he'd thought about saying to Felicity up until that moment had been stolen from him.  He watched Diggle as he hugged Felicity and as they spoke.  They both looked towards him for a moment and then resumed their talking.  He just didn't know that any of the words that he was grasping to bring back that had sounded so perfect in his head before they'd been stolen from him.  

 

So, he stood out there for the time and just watched them.  

 

As much as he just wanted to go in there and hug her and kiss her and pour out every single thing that he'd thought about since he had even thought for a split second that she'd died...but his feet didn't move.  

 

"Hey," Curtis said, coming up to him, his hand on Oliver's shoulder.  "I heard she's awake."  Curtis' hand moved from his shoulder even though Oliver didn't say anything or look at him.  He moved it all on his own.  "Is she okay?  She's okay, right?  I mean, Digg's in there.  They're smiling.  Felicity's okay.  Say something."

 

Oliver finally turned his head to look at Curtis.  "The doctor said that the next twenty four hours are critical."

 

"Oliver, I--"

 

"She's alive, that's all that matters right now, right?"

 

Curtis nodded.  "Right."

 

"And we have to be positive because Felicity's only going to worry more about us if we're not," Oliver said matter of factly with a shrug.  "She doesn't need to worry over us."

 

"No, she doesn't."  They were both silent for a few minutes.  "But I did manage to work with ARGUS and I think I've engineered a better version of the implant.  Lyla's already told me that I can use ARGUS resources to manufacture it and they'll get anything I might need."

 

"Thank you for that."

 

" _ Anything _ for Felicity," Curtis said.

 

Diggle was moving towards the door now.  Oliver pulled it open for him.  The door closed and Diggle caught a confused Curtis' arm.  "Felicity wants to see you, Oliver," Diggle told him.  "Get in there.  You have all the time to say whatever you need to say...and time to still figure it all out."

 

  
"I was going to--" Curtis said motioning towards the room door.

 

"Nope," Diggle vetoed.  "You're with me."  John looked right at him, still holding Curtis in place.  "Don't screw this up...you almost lost her.  This is your chance."  And with that, Diggle turned and started to drag Curtis down the hall.

 

"Do you ship them?" Oliver could hear Curtis ask them.  "Because I totally do."

 

Waiting a moment, he pushed the door opened and entered the room.  His head was down as he thought about what he was going to say first.  

 

"You better turn that frown upside down," came her teasing (yet still a bit groggy sounding)  bright voice.

 

He couldn't stop the smile as he looked up at her.  "I'm sorry I didn't come right in, I--"

 

"You don't have to say anything," Felicity told him as she held out her hand.

 

Closing the distance between them, he reached out and took her hand and stood there by her bedside.  "The doctor said--"

 

Felicity waved that thought away with her other hand.  "We're not talking about doctors or spines or any of that right now."  She paused for a brief moment.  " _ Plus _ , I've already heard what the doctor has to say."  Her smile was bright enough to almost make him forget what the doctor had said to him, to wash away the worry that was bogging him down.  "Right now, I just want to talk to you."

 

"What shall we talk about then?" he asked before kissing her hand.  

 

"Life," Felicity said with a smile.  "Whatever that's going to look like when we finally get back to Star City."

 

"Sometimes after...things...happen it's hard to believe that the world keeps going on without us," Oliver admitted.

 

"Thea and I are so having a girls night, I'm just forewarning you now...and we might invite Dinah...not sure how she feels about a girls night."

 

"Okay," he said with a smile.  

 

"And I'm assuming you and Samantha are going to talk...I mean, it's not fair for you to not get the chance to really know William.  Obviously them hiding away doesn't actually work and--"

 

"I'm sure she and I will talk when we get back," Oliver said gently.  He honestly didn't want her to worry about him or everyone else.  Though, at the same time, he knew that there was no way to stop her from doing so.

 

"And also,  _ I _ would like to be able to get to know your son," Felicity said slowly.  "If that's okay with you…"

 

"I  _ really _ would like that."

 

"Too bad they don't make an  _ Overwatch _ action figure, maybe she could beat out The Flash as his favorite," she teased brightly.

 

Oliver shook her head.  "Hey, I think he's coming around to the Green Arrow."

 

"Does he know?"

 

His expression changed, he was almost sad. "Yeah," Oliver practically whispered.

 

And her voice and expression changed to mirror his.  "Are you okay with that?"

 

Oliver perked a bit.  "You know, you don't have to do that."

 

"What?" she asked curiously with a slight tilt of her head.

 

"Take care of me.  You're the one that's just had surgery."

 

She pulled him to her and pressed a kiss to his lips.  It was a long kiss that changed the longer it went on, deeper and more passionate.  "Someone's got to take care of you," she whispered as they separated.  "I think I'm probably best at it."

 

"I'm not sure I'm so good at taking care of you."

 

"It's not always about taking care of the other person.  You've helped me grow...and love…" Felicity pointed out.  "It's more that I remind you that you're worthy to be loved...also, I do stitch you up…"

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you," Felicity whispered before kissing him again.  "And I'll love you even more when we get to be put on a plane home."

 

"That's not going to be for at least twenty four hours," Oliver informed her.

 

Felicity sighed.  "I hope you're up to the challenge of keeping me company until then…"

 

"I think I'm up for it," he told her with a smile before leaning in once again to kiss her.

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

"Let him sleep."

 

"I'm awake," he mumbled as he lifted his head and forced his eyes to open.  Felicity was staring back at him.  She looked better, more color in her face, and she was still far too cheery for the situation.  Oliver rubbed his face roughly with the palms of his hands as he straightened up in the chair at her bedside.  He looked over to see Diggle and Curtis there.

 

"There are beds," Diggle pointed out.

 

"I didn't want to leave," Oliver replied honestly.  It wasn't that Felicity needed him because she was being constantly monitored and there was nothing medical that he could actually do for her, but he felt like his presence was important.  Perhaps then the words would spill out on their own.  So far, he hadn't really made any progress...that he remembered.

 

"I would have sat with her," Curtis volunteered.  "I mean, unless Digg and I are interrupting right now.  We wouldn't want to interrupt, would we?"

 

"We're not interrupting," Diggle stated matter of factly.  

 

"I mean, you could have been," Felicity teased.  A beat passed.  "But the only thing you were actually interrupting was Oliver's snoring."

 

Oliver frowned.  "I don't snore."

 

Felicity patted his arm gently.  "Not judging…"

 

Oliver continued to frown and shook his head a bit.  "Anyways…"

 

"I just talked to Lyla and she said that we should be heading back to Star City tomorrow," Diggle reported.  "There's ARGUS agents on post keeping an eye on Samantha, William, and Thea."  He tilted his head slightly.  "Well, Thea just happens to be there...she's pretty much babysitting them too.  Just to make sure they're protected."

 

"I appreciate that."

 

"So, I'm okay to travel?" Felicity asked hopeful.

 

"The doctors are telling Lyla that things are looking good, so as long as that's the case we'll be leaving tomorrow."

 

"What about the implant?" Oliver asked.

 

"I've been working on it," Curtis said.  "But I still need to run some more tests on the new model and I'm supposed to use the resources from the ARGUS facility near Star City.  At least that's what I've been told.  There's a computer model going right now running tests."

 

"You made a new model?" Felicity questioned.

 

Curtis nodded.  "Given that your spine is able to receive a new implant, this one should be a little stronger.  I'm trying to insulate it to keep it from being vulnerable to EMPs."

 

"That's not exactly an easy task."

 

"That I know," Curtis said.  "I'm also trying to possibly make it a little thinner and possibly more pliable so that it can be molded on top of a vertebrae to try to increase its function to be as natural as possible.  It would also keep the swelling from being all weird if there was no separate implant chip floating around."

 

"Curtis, I--"

 

"You can look at the specs and everything once I finishing running the computer model tests."

 

Felicity smiled and Oliver couldn't help but feel hopeful.  He'd been a little reluctant to be excited when the biostimulant implant was first brought up by Curtis when Felicity had first sustained her spinal injury, but he'd seen it work.  He knew that Felicity was too stubborn to not try it.  Last time it had given her the ability to walk and to lead a life in a way she was accustom to.

 

"Sounds like everything is coming along," Oliver commented.

 

"I mean, I have some suggestions on how life could be  _ improved _ ," Curtis brought up.

 

"Not now," Diggle said flatly.

 

"Don't look so grumpy, John," Felicity said with a tilt of her head.

 

"I'm not," he said quickly as he crossed his arms over his chest.  "Just worried."

 

"You should go home to Lyla and J.J.," Felicity told him.  "I'm fine.  I'll babysit here."

 

Diggle smiled at that.

 

Oliver wasn't going to argue the 'babysit' part of what Felicity was saying and though it looked like Curtis had pondered on it for a moment, he shut his mouth a moment later.  

 

"You could take Curtis back with you to work on the biostimulant implant back home," Felicity added a moment later.

 

Diggle seemed even more amused at that.  "I mean, if it means that you and Oliver will have time to talk...then we'll be on the next flight to Star City."

 

"We've talked."

 

Oliver didn't miss the look he was getting.  "Yeah, that's not what John's talking about," Oliver said quiety as he turned his head to look right at her.  Their eyes locked and he could see the realization hit Felicity.  

 

"Oh."

 

"That's our cue," John said.  "You two talk, I'm going to go take Curtis for a walk."

 

"Why do you make it sound like I'm a puppy?" Curtis complained as he was guided out.

 

"Don't forget to feed him!" Felicity called after.

 

They were silent for what felt like a long span of time.  They were both just smiling at each other.  These simple moments were the ones that he missed with her.  It wasn't that Oliver didn't still have these moments, but they were never so intimate feeling.  There was something about being alone that allowed for letting down of walls.  

 

"I've missed this," he whispered.

 

It seemed to only cause her to smile brighter before a few giggles bubbled out.  "Being in a hospital?"  She looked around.  "Well, a medical recovery room anyways…"

 

"No," he said as he reached out to cup the side of her face as she turned her attention back to him.  "I've missed you.  Us just being together.  Like this.  Except not the being injured part."  Oliver still didn't feel like he was saying the right things.  "Not that I--"

 

Felicity pressed a finger to his lips.  "I know what you mean."

 

"I love you, Felicity," he confessed when her finger moved away.

 

"I love you."

 

"I know that I've made mistakes--"

 

"We both have."

 

"But I don't want us to go forward...unless it's together," Oliver told her.

 

Her face scrunched up a bit, confusion clear.  "Oliver, I'm not leaving--"

 

"Marry me."

 

There was still a bit of confusion in her.  He could see it.  "Oliver--"

 

" _ Marry me _ ."

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

"Is this the changing of the guard?" Curtis asked.

 

Oliver nodded his head towards the door.  "Sure.  You're up."

 

Curtis didn't even question it.  He looked between Oliver and Diggle for a moment before heading out.  

 

"So, you and Felicity talked?" Diggle asked from where he was laying.

 

Sitting down on one of the empty beds, he gave a nod.  

 

"How'd it go?"

 

"I think it went well."

 

"You think?" Diggle asked.  "It went well?  Yet, you still sound like you're not sure."

 

"You know, I'm starting to think that being a vigilante is giving me anxiety."

 

Diggle laughed in response.  "I know you, Oliver.  The only times you're anxious is when it involves Felicity."

 

"What if--"

 

"Don't think about being the Green Arrow or her being Overwatch.  Don't think about anything that has to do with vigilantism," Diggle said as he sat up.  "Don't think about Ivy Town.  Don't think about anything except you and Felicity...because everything else will fall into place.  Felicity's already proven that she's in this relationship for the long haul...even when you two aren't in a relationship."

 

"I keep coming back to worrying that I'm going to be the reason why she gets hurt...like she already has...and seeing her in that bed--"

 

"You already know that both you and Felicity can have a relationship if nothing changes with her spine," Diggle said gently.  "You also know that there's a possibility that Curtis' chip will work again."

 

"I have these nightmares...and in them...Felicity dies at least half of the times."

 

"And half the time she lives?"

 

Oliver nods.

 

"Do you remember how happy you and Felicity where in that moment you asked her to marry you?" Diggle asked.

 

He couldn't help but grin.  "Yeah."

 

"You thought it could work then, that you both deserved to be happy...with each other... _ together _ ," Diggle laid out.  "Has that _ really  _ changed?"

 

"No," Oliver whispered.  Diggle was right.  Everything he was saying and asking, it was all spot on.   He was letting fear guide him.  He'd told himself that he wouldn't allow fear to take control of his life, but he kept doing it.  Felicity was always there to light his way, to show him that there were other ways, and to remind him that life wasn't led with fear.  

 

"So, are you going to allow yourself to move forward with Felicity?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Am I going to get any other information about what you two discussed?"

 

"Probably," Oliver said with a slight shrug.  A small smile spread across his face.  "Eventually."

 

"Yeah, okay…" Diggle said with a shake of his head.  "You know Felicity will probably tell me."

 

"You're right, she probably will."

 

"You two deserve to be happy."

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…

 

 


	4. On The Outside Always Looking In

"Please tell me you're coming home."

 

"I am, Speedy, we all are," Oliver assured over the phone.  

 

"How's Felicity?"

 

"Already planning a girls night with you--"

 

" _ Really _ ."

 

" _ She really is _ ," he said with a laugh.  "But she's doing about as well as can be expected.  She's being stronger than any of us--"

 

"Typical."

 

"She's stable, stable enough to transfer such a distance at least," Oliver told Thea.  "But they're not sure about her spinal cord yet.  The doctor said that they'd already talked to Lyla and once we touch down she's going to be transported to the hospital where a specialist will be waiting."

 

"I thought the damage was permanent no matter what?  That Curtis' chip is the reason she could walk."

 

"It is," Oliver said.  His voice broke with his next words, unable to hold it together.  He was alone, so he didn't feel the need to hold up all his walls when it was just him and Thea on the other end of the phone.  "They still don't know if the chip will work, if there's too much damage to vertebrae.  There's still significant swelling.  I--"

 

"Hey, she's going to be fine," Thea tried to assure.  "She's Felicity...like you said, she's stronger than all of us."

 

"She really is…"

 

"Have you at least talked to her?" Thea asked.  "Please tell me that you have instead of hiding in some room by yourself and taking on everything as your fault."

 

"We've talked...a lot actually," he said, calming a bit.  He was thinking about everything that they'd talked about.  That cheered him, even though he was still worried.  "Things we probably should have talked about before."

 

"That's good.  Really, good for both of you."

 

"How's Samantha and William doing?  I'm sure that they must be wanting to figure out something," Oliver put out there, feeling the need to switch the subject.

 

"Sure, a little anxious.  It's been nice getting to know William, though," Thea said.  "And Samantha's sort of cool.  We've been binge watching shows after William's been going to bed."

 

"Thank you for taking care of them, Speedy."

 

"You don't have to thank me."

 

"I know you wanted to stay here--"

 

"You were right, Ollie, and honestly...I'm glad I've gotten this time," Thea said.  "I've got a lot of catching up to do to make sure that William knows that I'm his favorite aunt and all."

 

Laughing, he shook his head.  "I'm sure you've already earned that title."

 

"Duh."

 

There was a knock and he looked over his shoulder.  Diggle was standing there.  

 

"It's time," Diggle said.

 

"Uh, Speedy...it's time for us to go.  We're going to get on a plane.  I'm not sure what time we touch down, but I'll call you as soon as we do, okay?"

 

"Okay."

 

"I love you, Thea."

 

"I love you, Ollie."

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

"You sure you're okay?" Oliver questioned nervously.

 

Felicity just smiled up at him.  "Go sit down."

 

But his voice was serious and his chest was squeezing from the worry he felt for her.  As glad as he was for them to be going home, he worried about her condition and what might happen in the future with it.  There was so much uncertainty.  "Felicity--"

 

"I'm fine," she whispered.  "And I'll probably nap--"

 

"What about the pain?"

 

"Diggle has the pills."

 

Oliver looked over towards where Diggle and Curtis were already seated and strapped in.  ARGUS meant that they were taking a military transport back to the ARGUS facility near Star City.  Obviously Diggle had been listening because he held up a prescription bottle and shook it once.  Oliver sighed and then looked back to her.  "I--"  And then the world fell away as Felicity pulled him to her, their lips meeting and never wanting to leave.  In the back of his mind as her lips left his, their eyes still locked, all he could think about how he couldn't ever imagine his life without her.  "I love you," he breathed.  Suddenly, it was like weight had been lifted.  

 

"I'll be fine, but  you need to sit," Felicity told him.  "And I love you."

 

He wanted so badly to be right there with her, holding her hand, being close enough to notice the slightest change in her.  Oliver backed up and found a seat a few over from Diggle, but straight across from Felicity.  It wasn't that he was worried that she wouldn't say something, it was more that he was just worried something else would happen...she was stable enough to be transported, but that wasn't the same as being released to go home.  She'd be taken to another hospital to see a specialist.

 

Maybe it was because they didn't have answers.

 

Or an exact diagnosis.

 

He just wanted to know--

 

"You're make a face."

 

He looked over at her and blinked suddenly and then couldn't keep from smiling and letting out a laugh.  Felicity was making a funny face right at him.  

 

"We should probably all try to sleep," Diggle told them.  "None of us have slept enough or right."

 

But Oliver didn't want to sleep.

 

He just wanted to watch Felicity.

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

Oliver was fairly sure that the only person who hadn't slept during the entire flight back towards Star City was Diggle.  He'd been the one who had told them all that they needed to actually sleep...but he'd been awake the last Oliver had noticed before passing out and he'd still been awake when Oliver had woken back up.  Curtis had been the first to fall asleep and he'd been babbling about Paul.  Felicity had commented about how 'cute' he was talking about the man that he loved even if they weren't together.  It hadn't been too long until Felicity had drifted off, Diggle had given her a pain pill not too long before, and all he could think was that he was so thankful for her to be able to sleep.  And then...it must have been comforting enough for him so he must have fallen asleep right after.

 

"You needed it."

 

"So did she," Oliver said as he looked from Diggle to Felicity.

 

"Are you going to tell me what you two talked about before?"

 

"Why are you so curious?"

 

"I have a personal stake in your relationship."

 

Oliver smiled at that and looked back over at him.  "Living vicariously through us?"

 

"More like trying to plan out whether or not I need to have another talk with you or not," Diggle told him.  "Gives me time to plan out what I'm going to say."

 

"You make me sound so difficult and hopeless."

 

"You said it, not me."

 

Oliver laughed and shook his head at that.  

 

"It's just the two of us--"

 

"Curtis is awake," Oliver said as he nodded towards Curtis' 'sleeping' form.

 

Silence.

 

"Seriously, you couldn't sleep for two more minutes?" Diggle complained as he looked towards Curtis' still form.

 

Curtis sighed and opened his eyes.  "It's not my fault…  I heard you guys talking--I mean,  _ don't  _ stop talking because of me.  _  i'm completely trustworthy, _ " Curtis started to ramble on.  It was something that reminded him of Felicity and when the two of them were at it together, it was often adorable (because...Felicity) and annoying (mainly because he couldn't keep up with their technobabble).  "I mean, something happened, right?  You two talked and--"

 

Oliver just stared at Curtis.

 

"Okay, silent now.  This is me.  Quiet."

 

Now Diggle was staring at Curtis as well.

 

Silence.

 

Diggle looked back to Oliver now.  "No chance now, right?"

 

Oliver actually wanted to tell someone what he and Felicity had talked about.  Diggle was honestly the best person to talk to.  He'd been there since before Felicity was even part of the team.  He knew them both and he wanted them to both be happy.  However, right that moment didn't seem like the right time...especially not with Curtis there and the possibility of Felicity waking up at any moment (though he didn't think Felicity would mind him confiding in Diggle, they both trusted and loved him).  "Whatever Felicity and I talked about is something that can be discussed later...after we figure out what's going on with Felicity's spine…and then there's going to be a lot to do in Star City once we're actually there."

 

"Like mayoring?" Curtis put out there.

 

"That," Oliver said.  "And then there's also figuring out things with Samantha so that I can hopefully see William more...if it's safe."

 

"You've missed so much, Man," Diggle said with a shake of his head.  "My advice would be for you to do whatever you have to in order to make sure you and William both can be in each others' lives.  You both deserve that."

 

"Also me," came a sleepy addition.

 

Oliver looked over and down at Felicity who was opening her eyes in that moment.  She was also repositioning her glasses, which had moved.  "Also you," Oliver told her.  

 

"We also have to talk about everything we need to do with the Bunker once we get back," Felicity said.

 

"That can wait."

 

"Oliver--"

 

"It can wait."

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

They took her away and they couldn't follow, not right away at least.  

 

"Johnny," Lyla had said in relief as she'd hugged her husband.

 

All Oliver could do was stare off in the direction that they'd taken Felicity.  All he'd wanted to do was to be there right at her side the entire time.  He wanted to be able to hold her hand, to tell her that he loved her, and that everything was going to be fine.  He needed to know that no matter what they said...not matter if the chip worked or not...that he was always going to be there for her, that he'd always love her, and nothing was going to change between them.  

 

"Let's get Curtis down to the lab while the doctors tend to Felicity, okay?"

 

He heard her words, but he couldn't bring himself to look right at Lyla.  Worry was filling him and worst case scenario floated to the top of it all.  Oliver felt like he was drowning, all the waiting and not knowing felt like it was going to kill him.  How everyone else seemed to be calm about waiting around or doing something else boggled his mind.  How was he even supposed to function?

 

"Oliver?" Diggle said.

 

Finally, he blinked as he felt his friend's hand on his shoulder and looked up at him.  "I'm scared."

 

"I know," John responded quietly and yet matter of factly.  

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

As Oliver stared through the hospital window, all he could think was that he'd been on the other side of that window far too many times as of late.  He'd rather be the one in the hospital bed.  Felicity was in there, though, looking just as she had at ARGUS but with far more lines and monitors hooked up to her.  

 

"They're just waiting for our specialist to come back from going over the medical files and all the scans along with the exam he did already," Lyla said.  

 

"Hopefully it won't be too much longer," Diggle added.

 

"You know, you can go in and see her."

 

"Where's Curtis?" Oliver asked them.

 

Lyla shook her head.  "He's at ARGUS working on the implant for Felicity's spine.  He's got access to every resource he might need.  He's going to make it even better than before."

 

"As long as Felicity's spine will accept it."

 

"Did I miss something between you and Felicity?" Lyla asked.

 

"What?"

 

"You're acting even more guilt ridden, angsty, and overprotective than normal," Lyla pointed out.  "Did you two decide to get back together or something?"

 

Suddenly Diggle and Lyla were staring at him.  Oliver sighed and rubbed his face.  "Something like that," he said.  

 

"He won't tell me," Diggle told his wife.

 

"I'm starting to think it's something more serious, like they're engaged again," Lyla told Diggle.

 

"Oh, I was hope for that kind of news," John replied brightly.  "They're both normally so much more cheery and less grumpy when they're actually embracing feelings and trusting one another."

 

"Learn from our mistakes, Oliver," Lyla said.

 

Oliver looked at them and gave them a little smile finally.  "The engagement's back on."

 

"Yes!" Diggle cheered as quietly as possible and yet with probably too much excitement.  "I ship it."

 

"What?"

 

"Something Curtis says."

 

"Go in and see your fiancee," Lyla practically pushed Oliver into the room.

 

Felicity was asleep though, which is why he hadn't felt so guilty standing outside of her room.  Oliver moved to her bedside and took a seat in the chair he pulled up.   "We're home...almost," Oliver told her.  "Which I should call Thea and tell her...but I'll wait and do it in a few minutes."  He leaned forward and took her hands into his.  "She can wait.  She'll have a million questions anyways."

 

"They're usually valid," Felicity mumbled as her eyes slowly opened and she slightly squeezed his hands.  

 

She looked absolutely exhausted and out of it.  Maybe it was just that every time he saw her in a hospital bed he thought back to the time that Felicity was first in the hospital about her spine and she tried to give him an 'out' in the engagement.  "Maybe."

 

"Oh,  _ always _ ," Felicity countered with a weak smile.

 

"She's worried about you," Oliver explained.  "I told her I'd give her updates--"

 

"And you haven't?" 

 

"I told her that we were coming back to Star City."

 

"This is why I update Thea on things," Felicity teased lightly.

 

He smiled at that.  "You know, you probably already know this, but you have always been the one person who makes me feel like I'm human.  Here human, if that makes sense," he said as he squeezed her hands lightly.  Oliver tried to think of how to make sense of his thoughts and feelings, he looked around and it came to him in that moment.  "Before, I always felt like I was on the outside always looking in.  Like I could see everything but I couldn't be apart of it, but with you...you changed that."

 

She smiled at that.  "It's because of my charming personality."

 

Oliver could hear that she meant it jokingly, but the truth was she was right.  "Even before I met you, I thought you were charming…"

 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Felicity asked quietly.

 

This was something that he hadn't shared.  It had been a moment.  A moment between them that only  _ he _ knew about.  "In those five years I was gone, I came back to Starling City at one point," he explained quietly.  "I was in Queen Consolidated after hours...and I saw you."

 

"Me?"

 

"You were talking to a picture of me," Oliver said.  "And you made me smile...which didn't happen that often during that time.  It was a bright moment."

 

Even though Felicity looked absolutely exhausted, she looked so happy in that moment.  "I wish I could remember that exact moment…"

 

"You were wearing a white top with black polka dots."

 

"I like polka dots."

 

Oliver was about to reply, but the door opened behind him and instead he found himself turning to see who it was.  He'd thought that perhaps it was going to be Diggle and Lyla, but it wasn't.  It was the doctor, which made him feel ill and his head started to spin at all of the 'what ifs' and worst case scenarios that could fall out of the doctor's mouth.

 

"I'm sorry it took me so long, Ms. Smoak," the doctor started and then was immediately eyeing him.  "This might be a conversation we should have in private?"

 

Felicity tightened her hold on Oliver though before speaking up.  "Anything you have to say, you can say in front of Oliver."

 

"Okay."  The doctor opened up a file folder and started to scan the page.  "Now, I read your history.  I understand that you sustained a permanent spinal injury at the end of 2015 that left you paralyzed from the waist down, but that you've been using experimental technology that has assisted you in walking on your own."  He paused a moment and looked up at them.  "Right now, I want to explain to you why I don't want you to reattempt the technology, at least not right now."

 

"Go on," Felicity said.

 

Oliver hadn't expected the chip to go right back in Felicity's spine.  Curtis was still perfecting it and trying to improve it.  Felicity also needed to heal.  

 

"The injury that you recently sustained to your spinal cord was relieved by the surgery you had," the doctor went on.  "That's all good, except that you're experiencing acute inflammation in your lower back.  Inflammation is good in this case, even though it might not sound like it, it's our body's way of helping with the healing process.  What I'm concerned about is watching the level of inflammation.  It's fine if the acute inflammation lasts short term, but if it's around for any extended length of time then that's where we need to worry.  Then we'd be dealing with chronic inflammation and that's pointing us into the direction of a whole lot of things that could be wrong and things that might not be able to be cured."

 

"So what do we do?" Oliver asked.

 

"We keep an eye on it.  I'm going to give you a timeline," the doctor told Felicity.  "And if you're still experiencing the same amount or more inflammation, I want you to contact me.  It could be the sign of something more serious."

 

Now Felicity was the one asking questions.  "What about physical therapy?"

 

"Not right now," he told her.  "And I mean that.  I  _ really _ want you to limit your movement.  Bedrest.  Take the pain medication I'm going to send home with you and follow the home care instructions _ exactly _ ."  The doctor sounded extremely serious as he continued.  "And I want you to call me if there's anything that seems wrong or off.  Even if it's just a question.  I'm on call twenty-four/seven."

 

One thing Oliver knew for sure was that Felicity wasn't going to be keen about bedrest order.  To her, bedrest was a four letter word.  She'd get bored, especially if she was supposed to be really resting.  Sure, she could have her tablet, but she'd go stir crazy.  He just hoped that the inflammation went down quickly and they could move forward.  

 

"Are there any other questions?"

 

"When should I see you for a check up?" Felicity questioned.

 

"I'll have my office call and check up on you, we'll figure it out from your progress."

 

Felicity just nodded.  "Thank you."

 

"Yes, thank you," Oliver spoke up then.  Felicity still looked so ill, but he knew that she was likely screaming on the inside.  He watched the doctor go and then looked back to her.  She looked absolutely broken, though he knew that that wasn't possible.  "Hey," he breathed and reached out to touch her face.  Her eyes met his and he leaned in to press a quick kiss to her lips.  "It's going to be okay."

 

"You're not the one on bedrest," she complained without any real energy into it.

 

"I'll be right there with you."

 

And then it was like she looked even sadder, which he hadn't thought was possible.  "No," she whispered.  She squeezed his hands and looked down at them for a moment before their eyes met once again, she had fire in hers.  "No, Oliver...you need to do so many other things than being right there with me--"

 

"Felicity--"

 

"No,  _ listen _ ," Felicity told him firmly even though her voice broke.  "You have Star City to take care of.  They've been without a mayor.  And then there's William."  She paused and let out a sigh.  "Figuring out how you can be a father is more important than entertaining me."

 

"But Felicity--"

 

"I'm serious, Oliver," she insisted.  "You don't think I can command Curtis to keep me occupied?  Thea will volunteer."

 

He felt guilty and his heart broke a bit.  

 

"Do you remember when I first joined the team?"

 

"Yes," he whispered, a small smile forming.  "It seems like a lifetime ago."

 

"It does," she confirmed.  "I didn't understand then that you would always come for me.  I remember the first time I realized that I wouldn't ever be left behind.  It was a feeling that I wasn't used to.  I was far too used to being someone who disappeared into the background, that was invisible, that no one would miss if I didn't show up the next day...but that changed when I met you and John.  And I'll figure out the bedrest, but I know that you're going to be there...you're going to come home to me."

 

"Home?" he echoed, half surprised.  After they'd broken off their engagement the last time he'd moved out and let Felicity have the loft.  It hadn't really been his in the first place, it had been Thea's.  The whole reason it had ever felt like home to him was because Thea had been there and then it had been just him and Felicity.  Those two most important women in his life were the reasons that the loft had felt like home.  That's why he hadn't wanted to stay there, why it had made sense to let Felicity keep the space.  It wouldn't have been home to him all alone.  

 

"Yeah," Felicity told him matter of factly.  "If you're up for it.  It's not going to be glamorous...it will likely require you to do things like...cooking...and pretty much every other single thing...because...bedrest."

 

He couldn't keep the bright smile off of his face in that moment.  "I won't mind one bit."

 

"You have to be nice--"

 

"I'm always nice."

 

"I meant to like Curtis or whomever I enslave as my minion."

 

Oliver nodded.  "Okay."

 

"Call Thea," Felicity told him.  "Tell her that I'm coming home.  Get an update on Samantha and William."

 

"Yes, Ma'am," he said, a smile not leaving his face as he leaned in for a quick kiss.

 

"Ma'am makes me sound so old," Felicity complained and then kissed him again.

 

"I could go with mistress," he teased before kissing her again.

 

"Yes, mistress just sounds like you're some creepy succubus who's my minion."

 

"I love you," he half laughed through another kiss before finally breaking away to leave her.  It wasn't an easy thing to do, he'd much rather just stay there with her, but he knew she was right.  Thea was likely going crazy waiting for him to call her.  Calling Thea would also help him with Felicity because her sister could go to the loft and make sure that they had everything they needed.  The wheelchair was at the bunker and even though the doctor wanted her on bedrest, it was something that they needed to have handy.  There was also the whole part of making sure that there was food on hand.  

 

As he left the room, he stared at her through the window for a moment.  

 

His fiancee.

 

His beautiful Felicity.

 

Yet, he couldn't help the guilt he still felt.

 

And the fear.

 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

TBC…

 

 


	5. Only Us

"Do I even want to know?"

 

"Probably not," Quentin brushed off.  "I've learned over the years how to cover for practically anything.  It was a good thing that Rene and I came home earlier than you did, it gave us some time to lay the groundwork for some things."

 

"Like what?" Oliver questioned.  It was so odd being back in a suit and tie.  Maybe it was more because his head wasn't one hundred percent in the mindset of being Star City's mayor in that moment.  His thoughts kept going back to Felicity.  

 

"So, you're just going to have to deal with the cover story we went with," Quentin told him matter of factly.  "Look.  You're probably not going to like it--"

 

"Just tell me, Quentin."

 

"It was Thea's idea--"

 

He wasn't sure if that made him feel better about what was about being said or not.  Oliver let out a sigh.  "What is the cover story?"

 

"You were gone, in protective custody because of Chase's escape," Quentin started.  "And that even though we're reporting that Chase is dead that you've been at your ex-fiancee's bedside because Chase had targeted her in order to lure you out so that he could kill you."

 

"Oh-kay," Oliver said slowly.

 

"Thea wanted to bring William into it, but I thought that that might have been a bit too much," Quentin explained.  "She decided that if we really needed to and people were okay with it, we could always add that detail in later."

 

"What?"

 

"The public's going to know that you have a kid some time, at least with all that's been going on there was a weird way we could spin it so it didn't seem like William was such a secret," he said with a shrug.

 

Oliver sighed again before rubbing his face.  He was already exhausted and he hadn't even been there for a half an hour.  "Let's keep William out of the press, at least for now.  I still have to talk to Samantha about...everything."

 

"Why are you here then?"

 

He looked up at Quentin, confused and frustrated.  "What?" he breathed.  "I figured that I needed to actually be seen here."

 

"Well, you made an appearance.  Those young kids that use their smart phones to tweet or whatever are probably already letting the entire city know that you've been seen," Quentin said as he motioned around.  "Freaking social media...it's like wildfire.  Whatever happened to everyone knowing each other's name and gossip getting around by word of mouth."

 

"Our communities rose in numbers," Oliver blurted out without really thinking about it.  "We went from hamlets to villages to--"

 

"Hamlet?  Let's not bring Shakespeare into this, our lives are already filled with enough tragedy as it is."

 

"Not  _ that _ hamlet," Oliver correct.  "A hamlet is a settlement of people with a population under a hundred."

 

"Oh."  Quentin paused for a moment, obviously letting it sink in.  His face then changed into confusion.  " _ Really _ ?"

 

Oliver nodded.  "Yeah.  Hamlet.  Village.  Town.  City.  Metropolis."

 

"How the hell do you know this?"

 

"I have no idea," he confessed as he realized he really couldn't put a finger on where he'd learned it.  It was likely during his travels during those five years in hell...or else it was just the one random fact that he randomly remembered.  Oliver knew that it really wasn't important.  

 

"Okay, well you've been seen," Quentin said as he put a hand on Oliver's shoulder and then turned him around.  "Let's get you to see your son and work things out with his mom, okay?  Rene and I can hold down the fort for a little longer."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


As Oliver knocked on the apartment door, he felt like such a bad person.  He'd not even seen his sister's new place before this because life just hadn't slowed down for him to make the proper time.  He needed to change that.  Oliver also was also insanely anxious in that moment, worrying what Samantha would say before they even had the chance to talk.  It was his head telling him all the ways it could go and focusing on only the negative.  

 

The door opened and Thea smiled at him.  "About time."

 

"I stopped by the office."

 

She moved and swung her hand in a motion for him to enter.  Once he did, she closed the door and he heard as each lock slide into place.  "Why would you do that?  Quentin's got everything handled right now."

 

"So I was informed, but at least I showed up and people saw me," Oliver put out there.  "Quentin also told me that you had additional ideas for the cover about why I was gone--"

 

"You mean the truth?" Thea asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.  

 

"I don't want William to be dragged into this," Oliver said gently.  He was just tired.  He didn't want to fight with Thea.  He didn't want to fight with anyone.  Honestly all he really wanted to do was to go to the loft and curl up besides Felicity and just sleep.  

 

"Which is why I agreed with Quentin," Thea pointed out.  "I had an idea, but my ideas aren't always the best...and he was right.  I still don't think that you can keep a secret son a secret when you're the mayor."

 

"Well, I need to talk to Samantha."

 

"They're in the back bedroom."

 

"Okay," Oliver said and started to turn, but turned back to face his sister.  "And thank you, Thea."

 

"Sure," she said with a shrug of her shoulder.  Thea disappeared towards the kitchen a moment later.

 

Pulling in a deep breath, Oliver looked down the hallway that Samantha and William were down and just tried to gather all the strength he had.  He moved quietly down the hallway and caught a glimpse of Samantha and William playing on the floor of Thea's guest bedroom.  It wasn't large, just a twin bed and a dresser.  There was also a small air mattress set up along one wall and it was clear that that was where William had been sleeping.  Samantha and William were both laughing as Oliver watched them, they were building something with legos and they seemed like a page out of some kind of family magazine.  

 

It was Samantha who noticed him first.  He hadn't wanted to interrupt.  "Oliver!" she exclaimed and William looked over in that moment as well.  "How's Felicity?"

 

"Stable enough to be released from the hospital," Oliver said slowly, he tucked his hands into the pockets of his slacks and looked down before looking back up at them.  "Thank you for asking."

 

"What about her spine?"

 

"There's still swelling and they're not sure if the tech that had been used before will be able to be surgically implanted again in order to possibly allow her to walk again," he informed Samantha.  It was hard to say those words, but he appreciated Samantha asking.  He hoped that she now saw and understood what a good person Felicity was and how much she meant to him.  "It's just a waiting game.  She's at her place now, Curtis is with her."

 

Samantha was nodding now.  "I'll keep her in my prayers."

 

"Thank you."

 

"Is it okay if I hug you?" William asked suddenly.

 

Oliver sort of stood there with his mouth ajaw for a moment before he nodded, his head moving before the words could stumble out of his mouth.  "Yeah, yeah...I would actually really like that."  William hugged Oliver and he wrapped his arms around his son, holding tight.  It was something that was sort of small, but at the same time a big deal for them.  He waited until William pulled back and then Oliver released.  He smiled down at his son.  "Thanks, Buddy."

 

"William, could you let us talk alone?" Samantha asked.  

 

"Aren't you going to talk about me?" William questioned.  "Why can't I be here if it's about me?"

 

"We're going to talk about a lot of things," his mother told him.  "I want to hear what you want,  _ but  _ can Oliver and I talk alone first?  Then we'll call you in and you can tell us your thoughts?  What you want?"

 

William didn't look like this was really something he wanted to do, but he nodded, and left the room.  

 

Oliver tucked his hands into his pockets and looked down for a moment, taking in a breath and trying to prepare himself for the conversation.  He looked up at Samantha.  "I don't know where to start," he admitted honestly.  

 

"I know that you and i weren't really together, Oliver," Samantha told him.  "And that my opinion doesn't count--"

 

"That's not true--"

 

"I'm proud of you," Samantha told him.  "It's not just the Green Arrow, but it's Mayor Oliver Queen...and all I can do is thinking back and think that I would have never imagined you as either when we were just kids.  Your parents would have been so proud, you know that, right?"

 

"I hope so," Oliver said.  

 

Samantha looked like she really wasn't stressed about the conversation that they both knew they were about to have compared to Oliver who felt torn up inside.  "When William and I were gone and in hiding, it wasn't the same...and I don't want him to feel like he's not safe."  

 

Oliver wanted nothing more than for his son to feel safe.  Being his son, though put a target on him, and there really was no way to ever take that target off of him.  He honestly didn't know what was the best option, what was the best compromise, but Oliver  _ did _ know that he wanted to be part of his son's life.  The chance for him to be a father to William basically up until this point in his life had been stolen from him.  He knew that it had been done under the best intentions and maybe it had been for the best...but it was still a huge chunk of time that Oliver hadn't been able to be a dad and now had so much catching up on.  It wasn't just about doing father/son things, but learning about William.  

 

"We're going to go back to Central City," Samantha blurted out.  "The Flash and Kid Flash are there, so it's not like the city is totally unprotected."  She kept going on, keeping Oliver from getting a word in.  "I know it's not super close, but that's where William's grown up, that's where his school is, and that's where his friends are."

 

"Okay."

 

"Okay?"

 

Nodding, Oliver knew that that really was the best decision.  "Okay," he vocalized again.  "I wouldn't want you to both uproot your lives any more than you already have.  Central City really isn't that far…  I have friends there--"

 

"The Flash?"

 

"Actually, I do know him," Oliver said with a smile.  

 

"Of course you do."

 

"But I hope that this means that I can still come and visit?"

 

Samantha nodded.  "We'll work out a schedule.  Something that'll work, but where we can still be flexible."  There was a beat.  "And I hope that Felicity can come...even your other friends.  They'll all really nice."

 

"I'm sure they'd like that."

 

"I wish I could have gone back and not brought up keeping William a secret from Felicity--"

 

"Maybe it was for the best."

 

"You broke up."

 

Oliver smiled and looked down for a moment.  "We're engaged again," he admitted as he looked at Samantha.  "She was really hoping that she'd be able to get to know William too."

 

"Later on, once we all get settled, maybe we can talk about sleep overs or three day weekends...if that's something you'd be up for?"

 

"Definitely," Oliver blurted out, feeling overjoyed.

 

"The one thing I'm really worried about is the media."

 

"Why?"

 

"You're the mayor, Oliver," Samantha said.  "I know that Thea thought about pushing the story about William being your son--"

 

"It wasn't her call--"

 

"But she had a point," she stated.  "You're in the public eye.  If William comes here for weekends, then we have to decide what's said."

 

"We can come up--"

 

"Maybe we don't need lies or stories, that hasn't gotten us anywhere good so far," Samantha told him.  "Maybe it's time for the truth."

 

"Are we ready for that?"

 

Samantha shrugged.  "I don't want to tarnish the memory of your parents any further than it might already be."

 

"I appreciate that," Oliver said.

 

"We could say that I just kept William from you because I was worried," Samantha said with a shrug.  "Really, that's a good deal of the truth."

 

"That puts a lot on your shoulders."

 

"You'll have to release some kind of press release or an article or something, right?  So, just put in it that you and I met and it came out.  That we're on really good civil terms, which we are.  That we're working out what's best for William.  It's all true."

 

"You're really sure?"

 

"I think we should talk to William about it," Samantha said.  "But do you really want to continue to lie about the important things in your life?"

 

"No."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Home.

 

It was considered that once again.

 

It was an  _ amazing  _ feeling.

 

Just walking through the door was enough for Oliver in that moment.  It felt like he could leave at least part of the weight of the world at the door.  He took off his suit jacket and folded it over a the couch.  Curtis was sitting there reading.  Oliver started to loosen his tie and crunched up his face as he read the title of the book.  "Torch...wood?" Oliver said slowly and even more confused as the words that should really be one (if the lack of spacing was any indication) felt foreign as they poured from his mouth.

 

"Yeah,  _ Torchwood _ , haven't you heard of it?" Curtis questioned as he put his book down and looked over at Oliver.

 

Oliver shook his head.

 

"You haven't watched it with Felicity?"

 

He shook his head again.

 

"Captain Jack?"

 

"No idea."

 

" _ Doctor Who _ ?"

 

"Doctor what?"

 

Curtis sighed.  " _ Torchwood  _ is a spin-off of the  _ Doctor Who _ series.  It's about Captain Jack Harkness who's a smoking hot immortal time agent who runs a group called Torchwood that keeps the world and generally Wales safe from alien threat."

 

"It's a TV show?"

 

"Yeah.  BBC.  British television."

 

"And there are books?"

 

"Yeah…"

 

Oliver was just more confused at that.  "But there's episodes…"

 

"Well, it's sadly cancelled now except for radio shows and books, so I don't care what form I get my fix in at this point."

 

"Alright."  He waited a beat and then decided that it was time to switch topics.  "How's Felicity been?"

 

"She's been sleeping so far," Curtis said.  "I made sure she took her pain meds."  He motioned to the pad of paper on the coffee table in front of him.  "I've written down the dose and the time, so you can keep track of it."

 

"Thanks."

 

"I was also thinking about reaching out to Paul, seeing if he might be willing to see Felicity again--"

 

"As much as I appreciate that, especially because I know that must be difficult for you...the doctor said--"

 

"I know," Curtis said as he got to his feet.  "But maybe he could give me more insight about the chip...especially with the swelling.  Felicity had requested a digital copy of her scans and files.  I just figured that having another set of eyes on it, maybe Paul would see something else--"

 

"If you think it's a good idea and you're willing to reach out to Paul, then I'm behind it...and I appreciate it more than I can express," Oliver told him.  He hated to think that Curtis had to chose between his husband whom he had been happily married to and being Mr. Terrific.  Oliver just hoped that they could maybe work things out.

 

"I'll text you and let you know," Curtis said as he made his way around the couch.  "Felicity said I could take the extra key--"

 

"That's fine," Oliver said with a wave of his hand.  Diggle and Thea also had keys.  With Felicity unable to get around much on her own, he'd rather there be a few keys out there, just in case anyone needed to get into the loft for whatever reason.  "I'll text you if we need you."

 

"Get some rest."

 

"You too...and thank you again."

 

"Of course," Curtis said as Oliver walked him to the door.  "Good night."

 

"Good night."

 

Once Curtis was gone, he locked the door, and then looked around.  The loft was silent and though he was certain that Felicity was fine, he felt like he should really go up and check on her before doing anything else.  They needed to eat soon enough, so he would need to fix some dinner.  When they'd been in ARGUS care, Felicity really hadn't eaten that much as far as solid 'real' food went.  Moving up the stairs as quietly as he could, he stopped at the top and just stared at Felicity laying in bed.  He pulled off his tie and set it aside and then sighed.  "How long have you been awake?"

 

"The entire time."

 

"Curtis could have at least sat with you," Oliver told her as he moved to the edge of the bed, sitting gently on it.

 

Her eyes finally opened at this point and she sighed.  "I just...I didn't want him to fuss over me."

 

"I know that this isn't easy--"

 

"I'm fine."

 

Oliver leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.  "I know, I just...I wanted to make sure you'd be okay home the first day.  I wanted to be here--"

 

"How's the mayor's office?"

 

"Apparently I'm not needed there right now," Oliver told her.  "Quentin and Thea's got everything handled there."

 

"Did you talk to Samantha?"

 

"Yes," Oliver said with a nod.  "She and William are going to live in Central City again.  I'll get to visit and see him.  Samantha said that she'd like you, Digg, and the others to be able to know him too."  

 

"That's good."

 

"We're going to release a statement about William being my son."

 

"That's big."

 

"Once things settle, we're going to talk about weekends here and extended weekends."

 

"Good.  It sounds like things are coming together."

 

"I'm glad I'm home," Oliver told her.  "Are you hungry?  Do you need anything?"

 

Felicity patted the space next to her.  "Come lay with me for a bit."

 

There was no arguing or hesitation.  Oliver got up, stripped out of his suit pants and button-up shirt before crawling into the empty space next to her.  He was careful as he moved to wrap her into his arms and press his lips to her forehead.  This was where he'd wanted to be all day long.  "I missed this."

 

"You know you don't have to be so strong here," Felicity whispered as she looked up at him.  "You're home.  You're safe with me.  I know you, Oliver."  He stared at her and there was no argument that she knew him best in the entire world.  "I know you're spinning all of these things in your head.  Being mayor.  Star City.  William.  Us."  She paused for a moment, his eyes didn't leave hers.  "I know you've probably got ten thousand reasons for all of that not to work.  I'm here to tell you that it's going to.  It's all going to be  _ fine _ ."

 

He stared at her and wondered how she could be so calm with all that had happened.  How could she continue to be so optimistic when it seemed like the world was always coming for them?  Oliver just couldn't fathom how she could still remain so strong, he was so tired of holding it all...of continuing to be strong.  It took so much for him to try to remain as stoic as possible and to hold everything inside.  As much as Oliver always wanted to let his emotions spill out, there was a real worry that he'd break if he finally let it all crash out.  "I don't know how to do that."

 

And she smiled at him.  "I know you feel like you need to be convinced, to have some proof of the future, that you're scared of what could come...but Oliver, what we have...it's going pretty well."  

 

"Felicity--"

 

"Honestly," she whispered.  "Think about all that we have, all that we've done, and how beautiful our future could look like."  This was one of those moments where her light glowed and it felt like it was trying to encompass him in that moment.  "Don't hold onto any of the reminders of the past or anything that makes you feel like you're broken and need to be fixed inside."  Felicity just continued to smile and tapped the side of his head.  "Quiet the voices in your head and just listen to mine."

 

Her voice.

 

That was easy.

 

Quieting the other voices wasn't.

 

"I don't know if I can," he whispered honestly and he was barely holding it together, his voice breaking at the end of the sentence.  Felicity pulled him so that she was more the other holding him now.  His head rested under her chin and his ear pressed to her chest.  Oliver closed his eyes and focused on her heartbeat.  

 

"Just think about the future," she whispered as she ran her fingers through his short hair.  

 

And he tried.

 

All he kept worrying about in that attempt to see their future was the worry over Felicity--

 

"Think about how happy we are," Felicity prompted, breaking his train of thought.  

 

When they'd been together before, that had been the happiest he'd been in his life.  There'd been other moments that had been happy for him, but it always seemed to be outweighed or darkened by the bad stuff.  Even when they weren't together, she brought him light (even when he didn't feel like it was possible to have it in his world).  "I keep thinking of when we were in Ivy Town...and how that doesn't feel like it works here."

 

"No, but it's a start," Felicity whispered.  "You were so happy."

 

"You weren't."

 

"I was, just missed the action."

 

"What's the compromise?"

 

"I don't know."

 

"There's so many people--"

 

Felicity covered his lips with a finger, "Right in _ this _ moment, it's only us.  Push away all of the other worry.  Our family is there.  Every single important person and they're just as happy as we are."

 

"I don't--"

 

"Only us," Felicity repeated.  "Just like this except happy and perfect."

 

"Only us."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  
  
  



	6. There's Nowhere I'd Rather Be

He was happy.

 

It was always something that made him stop and pause now.  Oliver hadn't had a hard childhood growing up, he'd been happy, but he'd just learned to appreciate the happy moments more.  They contrasted so much with his nights at times.  

 

"These are the best pancakes!" William proclaimed.

 

Oliver just beamed.  It was something simple, cooking, but it was something that Oliver found so enjoyable.  There was also that extra bonus that everyone else enjoyed when he cooked as well.  Felicity would try, but they'd decided back in Ivy Town that it was best to let him wear the apron in the kitchen.  

 

"I'm glad you like them," Oliver called.  "I have more if you're still hungry."

 

He'd been cooking happily in the loft's kitchen for over an hour, but it was well worth it.  Everyone had come over and they were having this huge brunch, mainly because sleeping in had been a priority with it being the weekend.  Oliver had missed waking up to Felicity beside him.  There was something blissful about it.  Their morning had been simple, mostly he had just watched her sleep and then a few kisses before just holding her up until the very last point where they both needed to work on getting ready for people to come over.

 

Today was the last day that Samantha and William would be in Star City for a while.  They'd be going back to Central City and living there once more.  It wasn't really that far, but it was still a huge deal.  His life in general, everything felt like it was a huge deal going on all at the same time.  There was so much going on at the mayor's office, he was trying to really rely more on Diggle, Dinah, Curtis, and Rene at night (which was a really big deal for him), trying to make his relationship with Felicity work, and then there was his son…  They'd released a press release a week before and so far, there really hadn't been too much of an uproar.  Thea had taken some photos of him with William out on a walk and had allowed the press only access to those, but they wanted more. 

 

Every facet of his life wanted more of him.

 

"Oliver, there's an entire stack of pancakes in the middle of this table!  Stop making them and come eat some!" Felicity called.  

 

He turned off the burner and grabbed the plateful of pancakes he had just finished and moved towards the table, his waist apron still on.  Oliver set them down in the middle of the table next to the rest of the pancakes before moving around getting himself his own plate together.  His eye immediately caught movement and he looked over to see Quentin getting up.  "What do you need, Quentin?" he asked, ready to set down his partially made plate.

 

Quentin got to his feet and held up a hand.  "I'm good, you sit, and eat something," he insisted.  It nearly came out like an order from Quentin.  "I can manage to get myself some more coffee.  I'll bring the pot over for refills."

 

"You are amazing," Thea said from the other side of the table.

 

So, Oliver went back to work on his plate.  He took the open seat next to Felicity and realized in that moment how hungry he really was.  Shoveling some eggs into his mouth, he looked around and couldn't remember the last time they were all together like this.  The last time he'd had a family dinner with his mother, it had been tense.  He tried not to let the sadness at the thought of his parents (especially his mother) not being there for that moment, he knew that his mother would be the doting grandmother.  He felt Felicity's hand on his back and he immediately looked over at her and what he saw was knowing.  

 

"If you want us to come over every weekend for brunch, we're totally in," Rene said extremely enthusiastically as he cut up another piece of pancake.  

 

"I expect you to start bringing Zoe if we're doing this every weekend," Quentin said as he started to go around the table refilling coffees.

 

"That's another conversation," Rene said, his tone turning a bit grumpy.

 

"Who's Zoe?" William piped up.

 

"HIs daughter," Quentin said.  "She's about your age, actually." 

 

"You know what we should really plan?" Felicity spoke up, it was clear that she was trying to steer the conversation in a different direction.  There was a pause.  "A holiday dinner...I mean, we can totally have it here...Oliver will just obviously cook."

 

"Maybe Thanksgiving?" Oliver put out there.

 

"That's not the planning I thought you were going to say," Lyla voiced.

 

Oliver eyed Lyla and crinkled up his face as he tried to think of where she was going with that comment.  What else did they think they were planning?  

 

"Me either," Diggle echoed.

 

"Glad I wasn't the only one," Curtis said before sticking a forkful of food into his mouth.

 

Then it hit Oliver.  He realized what they thought that they might be planning.  He couldn't bring himself to glare, but instead just smiled and shook his head a little.  He reached out and took Felicity's hand and just squeezed it lightly.  As happy as he would to be planning a wedding, they needed time.  There was so much change that had come in the last few weeks and they needed to figure out how to get to their 'normal' first and be able to survive the world before taking that step forward. 

 

He already knew what Diggle would tell him.

 

The future wasn't guaranteed.

 

Was it really necessary to wait?

 

He also knew that they didn't have everyone that they'd want at a wedding, even a small one.  Donna was back in Las Vegas and she definitely needed to be at their wedding.  There were others, though.  There was no need to rush, at least not rush _ that _ fast.  

 

"I'm lost," Felicity said.

 

Oliver smiled over at her, his thumb brushing the top of her hand as it still sat in his.  "Thanksgiving would be nice, right?"

 

"We could definitely be out here longer for Christmas," Samantha put out there.

 

"Maybe we could come for both," William spoke up.  "We'll have time off for both."

 

"Well, we have time."

 

"That's true," Felicity said.  

 

"There's also going to be celebrating of Hanukkah, right?" Quentin brought up.  "Donna going to be out here then?"

 

"Yes and I don't know, I haven't talked to my mom since we've been back," Felicity said.  "Didn't want to worry her."

 

"She'd want to be out here with you."

 

"Would you want that?"

 

"Wouldn't be for me, it would be for you."

 

"Maybe we can call her later...after we're done here," Oliver said.  He knew that Donna could be a little over the top and that she could drive Felicity crazy, but she also fiercely loved her daughter...and Oliver was certain that Quentin still loved her.  "I'm sure she'd love to be out here for the holidays again."

 

"She can help with the decorating," Thea said cheerfully.  "Party planning and all of that."

 

"I can't wait to meet her," Dinah added in.

 

"She doesn't know about our extra curricular activities," Oliver said slowly.  "I'm not sure how she'd react if she knew."

 

"She'd probably think it was cool," William gave his opinion.

 

And maybe he was right.

 

"She'd probably definitely think it was cool and think freak out," Felicity told William.

 

It was so nice.  Really.  He wished that they could have these family dinners more often and he found it a bit heartbreaking thinking about how William and Samantha would be heading back to Central City later that day.  

 

"After all, a secret identity should stay secret from as many people as possible," Samantha told William.  They'd had an extensive talk about it, the three of them, and William seemed to understand.  

 

"Yeah, look at how many people already know the 'so called' secret identity," Oliver could barely hear Quentin grumble quietly before taking a drink of his coffee.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You know you could have gone to Central City--"

 

"I know."

 

"Do you?"

 

He had been out on the balcony of the loft apartment.  It was dark and the stars were out and this seemed like a rare night where he wasn't leather clad running around the city.  Felicity had come up behind him quietly and she'd known exactly what he'd been thinking about.  Looking back at her, Oliver smiled at her.  "I do."

 

"If this is because of me being back in the wheelchair--"

"I know that you can take care of yourself, that I don't have to be here--"

 

"I mean,  _ I want you here _ ,  _ but _ someone could totally hang out with me while you went to help them in Central City...and then you know maybe you could find out what's going on with Barry and everyone since no one's returning my calls…"

 

Oliver had gone back and forth with this.  "I don't want to be in the way or--"

 

"Seriously, you should just go," Felicity told him.  

 

"They're already on their way--"

 

"So, just text Samantha and see what she says, if she's open to the offer."

 

They were getting in late and it was more to make sure they were settled in more than anything.  He'd thought about asking Samantha about it before they'd left, but he'd not found the right talking moment for it.  He'd not wanted to overstep and he'd not wanted to make it harder for any of them.  "Yeah, maybe I'll do that," Oliver said before crouching down so that he was at the same level as Felicity.  Reaching out, he tucked a piece of hair that was blowing into her face back behind her ear.  "Thank you."

 

"For what?"

 

"Being amazing."

 

Felicity beamed at that and gave him a dismissive wave.  "It was just my  _ normal _ amazing."

 

Oliver looked down and chuckled at that before looking back up at her.  He could see it in her eyes and how she was holding herself.  The pain.  This was really the first day that she'd probably pushed herself.  The doctor still wanted her to be mostly on bedrest and she'd been following orders no matter how it was driving her crazy.  "You ready to go upstairs?"

 

"Yeah, I think so."

 

"Are we not going to talk about how much pain you're in?"  He didn't miss the cringing face she briefly made.

 

"Is it that obvious?"

 

"To me, yes," Oliver said.  "It's been a long day, though."

 

"It was."

 

"Tomorrow we can just stay home and relax--"

 

"You can't just stay here, Oliver," Felicity told him.  "You have your duties as mayor."

 

"It's Saturday."

 

"You haven't even texted Samantha yet."

 

"I'm starting to think you don't want me here," he teased with a smile.

 

She reached out, her fingers going through his short hair on either side of his face.  "You caught me.  I'm trying to get rid of me so that I can invite Curtis and whomever else I can convince to come over and play video games."

 

"I could play video games."

 

Felicity laughed at that.  "Maybe if there was a controller that was an actual bow."

 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

 

"I just want to make it through The Tomb of Sargeras before they release it into LFR."

 

"What's LFR?"

 

"Looking for raid," she explained.  "It's basically putting together a group to go fight the monsters or demons...and I as kickass of a hunter you'd make with your bow skills...your practical skills I don't think will translate well to a twelve button gaming mouse."

 

"How many buttons?" Oliver asked as he made a face.  "Don't they just have the two clicky buttons on the top and the scrolly thing?"

 

Felicity just beamed and leaned in and kissed his confused face.  "I love you."

 

"I love you...even though I think that I just amused you."

 

"Always."

 

"So, does this mean I'm not invited to this Tomb?"

 

She patted his arm.  "You always watch out for me here, but I'm afraid that you can't journey with me to Azeroth."

 

"I think you're just making up words now."

 

"Ask Thea."

 

"Wait...Thea plays?"

 

"Paladin."

 

"Paladin?"

 

"Ask her."

 

Oliver really didn't know how to feel, if he should feel left out or just amused that when he was gone Felicity played this game with Curtis and his sister.  "Wait, is this that game that you tried to get me to play and that Hogger guy kept killing me and you kept laughing?"

 

"To be fair, you were cursing at the screen like Hogger could hear you...and also, you were too low level to have even come close to killing him anyways."

 

"Maybe I just need another chance at this game."

 

"Stubborn."

 

"I was going to go with 'determined'."

 

"As much as I think you'd enjoy battlegrounds, dungeons, and raids...there's no way that you wouldn't flip out on all the people that are just stupid and don't follow strategy or do the mechanics."

 

"I mean, sometimes people have to learn--"

 

"Oliver, people stand in fire.  They have addons that yell at them to GTFO and they still stand there and expect their healers to heal them," Felicity said.  "I tried healing, but there comes a point where you just want to kill everyone that you should be healing because you just can't heal stupid."

 

"So, what are you in this magical world?"

 

"Mage."

 

"Mage?"

 

"Fire mage though it's not really number one in the expansion, I'm totally going to make it work."

 

"You know you could teach me how to play."

 

Felicity crinkled her nose at that.  "I don't hunter."

 

"Maybe I don't want to be a hunter."

 

"I fail at melee."

 

Oliver just shook his head and let out a short laugh.  "I feel like this is just you not wanting me to play this game with you."

 

"I didn't say that," Felicity said as she started to wheel herself in the direction of the stairs.

 

He just followed with a smile on his face.  He really wasn't taking it personally, but he thought it would be nice for him to be able to do something that she found interesting and that was more of her thing...technology tended to be her 'zone' and so video games fit that.  Perhaps if Felicity wasn't willing to give him a lesson for whatever reason then he could convince Curtis or Thea.  Sure, he'd tried to play the game before, but it was more just fiddling out of curiosity and boredom.  This was different.  He had a genuine interest in sharing this with her.     
  
At the bottom of the stairs, he carefully picked her up, cradling her in his arms as he moved up the stairs.  As much as he didn't mind doing things for her, like carrying her up to bed, he knew that she'd rather be doing it on her own.  She didn't like to have to depend on people or feel like she was burdening them, which she wasn't.  It made him feel guilty because he couldn't shake it deep down that this was all his fault, the fact that she couldn't walk on her own and the fact that she couldn't even try with the chip currently.  

 

"Were you serious about trying to play WoW again?" Felicity questioned.

 

"Yes," Oliver told her in a whisper as his eyes met hers.

 

"Why?"

 

"You're always helping me and doing things with me...even when we were in Ivy Town, I think we were still doing everything that I wanted and that I had interest in...but never for you," Oliver told her as he came to the bedroom.  "I want to do this because it's something that you have interest in."

 

"We don't have to do everything together," Felicity told him as he laid her onto the bed.

 

He crawled up next to her, popped up on his elbow as he stared at her.  "If you honestly just don't want me to play because you want that just for you, I understand."

 

"I just don't want you to feel like you _ have _ to."

 

"I don't," Oliver told her.  "I  _ want  _ to."

 

Felicity smiled at him.  "Text Samantha."

 

"Okay," Oliver said as he leaned in and kissed her before heading back downstairs to where his phone was.  It didn't take him long to grab it and start texting.  It wasn't a long one, just a simple one asking if Samantha wanted or needed him tomorrow in Central City, he could get up early and be there.  It really wasn't that late, but he and Felicity were definitely done for the day.  It had been a long day and felt like they'd been back in Star City for far longer than they had.  He was also worrying about Felicity's physical state, rest was definitely warranted.  He'd prepare some snacks for them a little later, but for now they could just relax.  

 

With Felicity on pain medication, wine was definitely out of the question.  While he was down there, he went to the fridge and pulled out some cold drinks.  His phone beeped and he looked down at it.  Samantha had texted him back letting him know that they were okay and that if they  _ did _ need him that they'd let him know.  Shoving the phone into the back pocket of his jeans, he grabbed the drinks and headed back up the stairs.  

 

"Samantha says that if they need anything that they'll let us know," Oliver told her as he set the drinks on the bedside table.  He moved to remove his shoes and a layer of clothing to get more comfortable.  

 

"Good," Felicity said.  There was a beat that passed before she spoke again.  "So, what shall we do?"

 

"I was thinking that maybe we could just lay down and watch something?"

 

"Netflix and chill?"

 

"I mean, if we're actually just going to Netflix and chill."

 

"You mean as long as we're not doing what the kids consider Netflix and chill?" Felicity asked.

 

"I mean, it's not that I don't want to--"

 

"No, I know," Felicity cut him off.

 

They'd talked about it.  They both wanted to be intimate beyond kissing and touches, but Felicity's doctors still wanted her to wait.  It was all a process and he was more than okay with that.  Oliver didn't want to do anything that might compromise her recovery.  "Didn't you have a list of things that we could watch?"

 

"Yeah, but I mean...there's a good amount that I don't think are really your type of shows."

 

"Maybe I"ll surprise you," he challenged as he moved to his side of the bed.  

 

"Maybe you will, " she said as she started to work the remotes she had on the bedside table.  "But I think that I am going to start with one that I haven't been able to watch yet, but from what I read I think we'll both enjoy."

 

"What is it?" Oliver asked. 

 

"A TV show.  It's called  _ Killjoys _ , it's basically space bounty hunters," Felicity filled in.  "If that's okay?"

 

"Sounds great."

 

"You're sure?" 

 

Oliver gave a nod and moved closer to her, trying to figure out the best cuddling spot and positioning.  "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

 

The truth of it all was that it wouldn't matter what they watched.  This.  Their time together was so special and something that didn't happen often for them.  It truly felt like they let the world pass by forever as they just snuggled in bed.  Maybe it was because he could live in those moments.  

 

Truly a perfect day.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

  
TBC…

  
  
  



	7. When It All Feels So Big

"If you're going to take my medical opinion," the doctor said.  "Then I'd advise against another procedure on your spine, especially an elective one, even one as minor as they implant that you've shown me."  There was a pause.  "At least for now.  Your body's been through a lot.  Your spine is finally starting to look like your last scan before your more recent accident."

 

His eyes weren't on the doctor, though, they were on Felicity the whole time.  She looked like she was taking it well, but he wasn't sure if that was honestly the case deep down inside of her.   _ He _ was having a hard time hearing it.  

 

"I'll have instructions, exercises, and some modifications I want you to be following in order to continue your healing," the doctor went on.  "That includes physical therapy."

 

"I already know a good one," Felicity spoke up for the first time.  

 

"If you have their contact info, then you can give it to the nurse and she can forward my orders over," the doctor said with a nod.  

 

With that the doctor was gone and they were left alone in the room in silence.  Oliver didn't know what to say or if saying if anything would actually help.  Did they discuss things?  Was it the right time?  Would there be a right time?  Instead, Oliver just reached out with his hand to her, she took it and squeezed it.  That was all.  He just wanted her to know that he was there and he was with her.  

 

Always.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Felicity had been quiet and Oliver didn't know  _ when  _ was going to be the best time to discuss things.  They were heading towards where the vehicle was parked, but the fear and guilt were consuming him.  They'd been at a similar point before, but then Curtis had come in with the miracle chip that had allowed her to walk.  Hearing the doctor say that might not be an option made it all harder.

 

"Do you know what time Wimbleton's going to be on the BBC?" Felicity randomly spoke up as they made it to the vehicle.  "I know it's tomorrow, but I'm not sure of the time."

 

"Wimbleton?  BBC?"

 

Felicity shook her head.  "Wimbleton.  It's tennis.  It's like a huge deal in England, which is why it's on the BBC.  The _ British _ Broadcasting Corporation."

 

Oliver blinked for a moment, confused at pretty much everything Felicity had just said.  he clicked the key fob to unlock the vehicle and open the trunk.  He tried to process what had been said and how any of it made sense.  "Since when did you start watching tennis?"

 

"I don't," Felicity said like it was the most ridiculous question.  

 

From her tone, he felt even more confused, like he was  _ really _ missing something from what she'd just said to him.  "Then why the interest for it and Wimbleton?"

 

Felicity rolled herself towards the passenger door and shrugged when she came to a stop.  "I'm more trying to calculate when it will be over."

 

Opening the passenger door with care, he scooped up Felicity and slid her gently into the seat without a thought.  "Why do you need to know when it's over?"

 

"They're announcing the new Doctor."

 

"What?" he blurted out in clear confusion.

 

"The thirteenth Doctor," Felicity tried to clarify.  "There's been all kinds of rumors about who's going to replace Capaldi.  Don't get me wrong, I know a lot of the  _ Classic Who _ fans really liked him, but he was a little grumpy for my tastes."  She continued to ramble on, not giving Oliver a chance to get a word in.  "But there's this  _ huge _ want slash need for the Doctor to finally be a woman...and there are  _ so many _ talented female actors that would be _ perfect _ ."

 

"This is  _ Doctor Who  _ that you're talking about, isn't it?" Oliver asked as he leaned against the open passenger door.  It had taken him a while to figure out, especially with no keywords like timelord, TARDIS, or time and space being used.  

 

"Of course."

 

"Okay," Oliver said in simple response.  He leaned in and kissed her.  "I love it when you go on about things that confuse me."  He beamed at her.  "Also, I'm sure you can look up the times on your phone."

 

"Right," Felicity said with a slight nod as she just stared back at him with a grin in place.  "We'll have to see how gracious the great Google Gods are today."

 

He let out a light chuckle at that before closing the door and moving to fold up the wheelchair.  As his fingers brushed the canvas-like material, all he could think about was how things had been before.  There were difficult times and there were good times.  None really overshadowed the other.  The good ones had never been because of the implant, but out of their love for each other and in general how full of love, hope, and happiness Felicity always was.  Pushing out a heavy breath and shelving the thought, he got busy folding the wheelchair and moved to put it into the back of the vehicle.

 

Things might be different for them, but some things would always be the same.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


They didn't talk about it.

 

The appointment.

 

What the doctor had said.

 

None of it.

 

Instead, Curtis jumped on that the moment that they returned to the loft.  Oliver had mixed feelings about it.  It wasn't that he'd been afraid to have the conversation, he'd just wanted to give Felicity time to process and bring it up when  _ she _ was ready.  This was about _ her  _ and he knew that he needed to be respectful of that and not push his want to discuss things before she was ready for that conversation.

 

"No implant medically recommended now doesn't mean  _ never, _ you know that," Curtis told her.

 

"I do feel like when the doctor might actually back it, it will turn into an eternity," Felicity voiced.  

 

"I'm going to keep improving it," Curtis reminded.

 

"Never doubted that."

 

"Does that mean no physical therapy?  Because Paul said last time we talked that he'd be more than happy to help."

 

"He does want me doing PT and I gave them Paul's info."

 

" _ Good _ ."

 

"You sure this isn't going to be too awkward?" Oliver asked.  He felt like it was a valid question.  Likely a question that anyone would have.  Paul and Curtis split up because of lies and because of Team Arrow, with every attempt that Curtis had made to bring them back together...they were still apart and Oliver wasn't sure if a legal divorce had happened or not.  All he knew was that Paul and Curtis had been so happy together and even adorable when they had been together (before he'd pulled Curtis onto the team).  He hated seeing that relationship dissolved in the way that it had.  

 

"It's for Felicity," Curtis said.

 

"That doesn't exactly answer his question," Felicity pointed out.  "I don't want you to be uncomfortable--"

 

Curtis' hands flew up in defense.  "Look.  I promise if I'm having a hard time, I'll say something."  He paused for a moment.  "But Paul and I are adults and we both care about you, Felicity.  So, if Paul being your physical therapist is for the best, then we're going to make it work."

 

"So, what shall we do now?" Felicity asked.

 

"I mean, personally I was going to vote for ordering Chinese and watching  _ Killjoys _ , because I totally binged and caught up," Curtis said.

 

Sometimes Oliver wondered why they gave out keys.  Apparently his  _ Killjoys _ watching with Felicity was now not only their time, but would include Curtis as well.  Everyone had been so great with being there for Felicity in any way they could, especially Curtis and Thea, but sometimes the loft felt crowded.  Sometimes Oliver just wanted to be selfish and have time alone with Felicity.  

 

This was one of those times.  

 

Felicity must have seen it in his face because she looked to Curtis and plans immediately changed.  "Actually, I promised Oliver that it would just be him and me tonight...but you'll come over tomorrow and watch the Doctor reveal, right?"

 

"Right, of course," Curtis rambled.  "I didn't think that maybe you two would…"  He paused for a moment, awkward hand gestures going on for a moment.  "But I'll  _ definitely _ be here for the reveal.  I'll bring scones," Curtis told her as he made his way towards the door.

 

"Oh, fancy!" Felicity said.  "Shall we have tea, too?"

 

"I mean, do we have proper teacups?"

 

"TARDIS and  _ Doctor Who  _ mugs," Oliver reminded.

 

"That doesn't sound like British proper, but I think it'll work," Curtis said.

 

"Especially if we end up drinking coffee," Felicity said with a bright smile.  "Since that'll probably happen."

 

"Coffee and scones sound just fine to me," Curtis told her as he moved to the door.  "Enjoy your evening."

 

" _ Doctor Who _ and  _ Killjoys _ tomorrow," Felicity promised.

 

Curtis left a moment later, leaving him alone with Felicity.  "I hope that was okay," Oliver said after a beat had passed.  It was still new between them...again.  There had been so much when they'd both returned to Star City and at first everyone had been at the loft it felt like...and he just missed the quiet between the two of them.  

 

"Yeah, it's fine, why?" Felicity brushed it off.

 

"We just don't always get a lot of time alone...when we're not sleeping or I'm not running out the door."

 

"True, but it's not like I can't survey you."

 

"Survey?" Oliver repeated with a laugh.  "Is that your subtle way to say that you stalk me while I'm gone?"

 

"I mean...if you  _ want  _ to go there…" Felicity said innocently.  "I would have gone with something along the lines of covertly watch you from my tablet.  You know, to make sure you're okay and eating and stuff."

 

"Right," Oliver said with a smile and the shake of his head.  He wasn't even mad.  It made sense and he wasn't going to go off about it because he knew that she had to be going crazy being stuck mostly at the loft since their return.  It was her way of getting out, being able to go with him, while still staying there.  He got it.  It was actually sort of cute...mainly because it was Felicity.  "Okay, so dinner?"

 

"I really don't want Chinese," Felicity said as she crinkled her nose a bit.  "I feel like we've been just eating take out since we've gotten back."

 

Oliver just beamed.  "I did do grocery shopping…"

 

"So domestic."

 

"It's sort of nice being a domestic couple again, right?"

 

"Can I vote after you cook something for me?" she teased as they moved towards the kitchen.  

 

He laughed at that reply at first.  "Sure."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


They were curled up on the couch together, blissfully happy in the silence.  Pillows and blankets had been brought down in order to make it more comfy as they'd watched  _ Killjoys _ .  This was really all he'd wanted.  Time with Felicity.  It wasn't much, it was just watching shows and being together, but there was something special and just nice about it just being them.  He didn't have to compete with the fangirl/fanboy-ing that went on when Curtis and Felicity were watching something together, it was adorable, but it wasn't how he enjoyed things.

 

Felicity looked up at him, "You know my most favorite episodes are still in season one, which is quite an uncommon thing for me...not that I dislike season two or even this one...just there's something so wonderful and heartbreaking about Dutch and the Jaqobis brothers coming together and being broken apart."

 

"I think part of it is because season one was like all about Dutch and the guys...the RAC...learning the basics about the worlds involved...and then season two is a completely other story...and so is season three…" Oliver tried explained.  He wasn't sure if it was coming across clearly enough, but he was trying.  He definitely had favorites in each season, but he also found himself really more favoring some of the season one episodes.  

 

"You're absolutely right," Felicity beamed.  "And maybe it's more that I love season one so much because I'm such a shipper...season two sort of broke my shipper heart."

 

"What about that episode where D'avin gets mind controlled?"  Out of all of the characters on Killjoys, D'avin Jaqobis was the one that Oliver felt like he most identified with.  There were moments he'd see something with others, but overall...he felt more like he and D'avin had the most in common.

 

"Yeah, but they can totally recover from it…"

 

Oliver couldn't believe what he was hearing.  He wasn't about to tell Felicity that he shipped Dutch and D'avin too, but he really wasn't connecting dots like she seemed to be.  "It's been two seasons!"

 

"There's still time," Felicity insisted.

 

Oliver was amused and confused all at the same time.  "Please, enlighten me."

 

"Well, amusing everyone survives until season four...and they get renewed."

 

"They freaking better survive and the show better get renewed," Oliver muttered. 

 

Felicity seemed to brighten even more.  "Look, Dutch and D'avin are both super traumatized...that's not to say that Johnny isn't, but Dutch and D'avin both are far worse.  They've had crap lives and Dutch is the one that's pushed D'avin away, to protect him as much as herself.  She told him at the end of that episode that it was her...because she would have killed him.  Sure, it took her a while to get back to the point where she could work with him and trust him, but look at them now…"

 

"So, you think they'll get together?"

 

"Eventually."

 

"Eventually?"

 

"We found each other again, right?" Felicity asked.

 

She had a point.

 

"To be fair," Oliver said before pausing a moment.  "I didn't stab Curtis and try to kill you after we made love--"

 

"To be fair," Felicity countered quickly.  "I might have stabbed you with a USB drive in less time than Dutch took to take D'av down."

 

"A USB drive?" Oliver asked with a grin.

 

"Do you doubt me?" she asked and her eyebrows raised with the serious question.

 

"No," he said with a laugh.

 

"So, just know...if you ever get mind controlled and try to kill me that I'm going to have to stab you...somewhere...but I'll try to avoid the face that I love so much," Felicity told him in a far too kind voice as she cupped his face.  "I sort of love this face."

 

"Only the face?"

 

Felicity pulled him closer for a kiss.  "Among other things," she whispered against his lips.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Oliver was beyond done.  As much of a comfort as it was to be living in the same space as Felicity, he'd been finding himself awake at night.  If he wasn't going over Lian Yu and what had happened after...then he was just staring at her as she slept trying to memorize her face even more than he had it engrained in his memory.  So, besides not sleeping enough, he also had the weight of everything he'd just heard in the city meeting as mayor.  The whole he was the Green Arrow and had a million things he needed to be doing wasn't even factoring into the level of exhausted he was at.  

 

As he put the key into the door to the loft, he knew that Curtis would be inside and hanging out with Felicity, but that would be fine.  He could use that time to crash for a quick nap, which would hopefully keep Curtis from feeling like he needed to leave if Oliver was going to sleep.  As he pushed the door open, he heard the familiar sound of the TARDIS.  The TV was up louder than normal, but perhaps it was because he simply wasn't expected.  

 

And then the excited shouting started.

 

"YES!"  

 

"NO!"

 

"YES!"

 

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!  THEY FREAKING FINALLY DID IT!"

 

"ABOUT FRAKING TIME, TOO!"

 

"What the heck is going on?" Oliver asked as he moved further into the loft once locking the front door.  Felicity and Curtis were both looking over at him from the couch.  The TV was now muted, but the two of them had been loud enough to make up for how high they'd had it cranked when he'd first walked in.

 

"Why are you home so early?" Felicity asked instead.

 

"I thought you were going to do that thing...with Thea today?" Curtis added.

 

Oliver blinked twice, his hands on his hips, and then he looked down.  "Shit," he mumbled and pinched the bridge of his nose.  He'd totally forgotten about his promise to Thea that he'd help her with some vague thing for William that she'd asked him about."  He pulled out his phone and started to text his sister.

 

"You really look like crap," Felicity commented.  When he looked at her, she immediately added something else.  "I mean it in a 'I love you and I'm concerned kind of way'."

 

"I'm sorry, I think my lack of sleeping is catching up to me," Oliver said.

 

"Can you repeat that?  So, I can record it the next time you're being stubborn."

 

"Or I'm just getting old," Oliver said with a sigh.  He finished texting Thea and then looked back over at them.  "So, what was all the screaming for?"

 

"We weren't screaming--"

 

Curtis tilted his head.  "Well, we were definitely shouting."

 

"With joy and celebration," Felicity added.

 

"I mean, today's a big day…"

 

"What are you talking about?" Oliver asked when Curtis made it sound like some kind of national holiday.  He didn't think he'd be missing something so big like that and someone would have made him do something important as mayor for something like that.

 

"They just did the announcement for the thirteenth doctor," Felicity told him.

 

"Okay."

 

"It's Jodie Whittaker from  _ Broadchurch _ ."

 

"Okay."

 

"Okay?"

 

Oliver was confused at what the big deal was here.  "She was good in it."

 

"Do you remember who her character was in  _ Broadchurch _ ?" 

 

"No, but they were all good."

 

"She was the mom of the kid who gets killed."

 

"Okay," Oliver said.  "She was really good in it.  She'll be great on  _ Doctor Who _ .  So, why were you both shouting?"

 

"Because a female doctor," Curtis pointed out.

 

Oliver thrust his hands into his pockets and looked between them for a moment.  "Wait.  Really?  That's a huge deal?  I mean, the Doctor is over 900 years old.  Is that really an issue?"

 

"For modern day misogynists, it is."

 

"Well, I'm glad that it's exciting and I look forward to watching her as the thirteenth doctor," Oliver said.  "Now, I am going to go upstairs and take a quick nap."

 

"Wait," Curtis said.  "I was going to ask...if Felicity and I can get into SDCC if you wanted to go too?"

 

"What?"

 

"San Diego Comic Con."

 

"No."

 

"Why not?"

 

"I dress up in leather every night and run around the city with a bow and arrows...really don't think I'm going to fit in at this...comic con."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Oliver had set his alarm, so that he wouldn't oversleep.  He had been so exhausted, he was sure that it could have been a thing.  As he moved down the stairs in flannel pj pants and a solid color t-shirt he heard a lot more sound than would normally come from just Felicity and Curtis.  They could get loud, he'd experienced that geeking out to the point of letting the entire block know a few times.  When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he just stared in confusion at the sight he was taking in.  

 

While he'd been napping, he checked his watch to make sure that he really hadn't been sleeping longer than he'd planned, apparently the loft's living space had been transformed with some kind of giant screen with a projector.  They were playing a game that he'd seen Felicity play before.  From the back of heads, he could tell exactly who were all sitting around playing.  Felicity, of course, and Curtis...but also Thea and Dinah were there.

 

"You coming to tag in?" Rene asked.

 

Oliver blinked and looked over to see Rene coming from the kitchen with his hands full of snacks.  "I didn't realize that we were having a party."

 

"Party of five, to be exact," Thea said as she held up her hand.  

 

"Well, Rene got kicked out for raging," Curtis said as he briefly looking over his shoulder before looking back to the game.

 

"I thought that World of Warcraft is normally played on computers?  With keyboards and a mouse?" Oliver asked.  He'd been trying to get Felicity to play with him, but she'd been putting it off, apparently not wanting to properly train him.

 

"Felicity and I figured out a way to get it all keybound to traditional game consoles," Curtis informed him quickly.  "Which I think is still a more effective setup for PvP rather than raiding."

 

His eyes took in the screen and the color coded name plates.  Oliver had really wanted to be able to take part in this small part of Felicity's world.  So, he had talked to Thea and he'd even talked to Curtis.  He didn't know, however, that Dinah and Rene were in on it too.  He supposed it made sense given that everyone had been taking turns coming in and keeping Felicity company.

 

"Do you have room for one more?" he asked.

 

"We're running pluses," Felicity told him.  "You have to be one-ten."

 

Oliver shrugged.  He'd really wanted to impress Felicity and he'd wanted to prove that he could live in her digital world, be that Azeroth or somewhere else.  "Can you use a bear tank?" he asked as casually as he could as he moved to sit on the floor near Felicity.  Curtis had helped him and it had been a lot more complicated and frustrating than he'd thought, but he felt like there was a possibility of impressing Felicity and possibly all of them.

 

"You have a bear tank?" Felicity questioned, obviously caught off guard.

 

"I mean, technically isn't it called a guardian druid?" 

 

This seemed to only confuse everyone else more.  

 

"I mean, if you guys already have a tank, that's cool."  Oliver looked around because everyone, except Curtis, looked absolutely confused now.  

 

"No, it's totally cool...we can run LFR as a warm up...that way we can all play," Curtis said in the stunned silence.  "And that means I don't have to run as heals on my shaman...I can swap over to my 'lock and do some  _ real  _ damage."  Curtis handed him a controller and then moved to boot up something, it looked like he was loading Oliver's character in.  "We really need to find someone who likes to play a healer…"

 

"You know who probably does?" Thea brought up.  

 

Felicity still looked confused.

 

"Ray," Thea said.  "He probably plays a holy paladin."

 

"I think you're probably right about that," Oliver said.

 

Felicity was squinting at him now, like she was trying to figure out what was going on.  "You really know how to play?"

 

"If you don't want me to play--"

 

"No!  No…"  She stopped and sat up a bit straighter in her chair and seemed to be thinking over what she was going to say next.  Her voice softened quite a bit.  "No, I was just thinking that this better not be Barry messing with the timeline again…"

 

Oliver laughed at that.  "What do you think Barry could do to make it so that I was good at this game?"

 

Felicity shrugged.  "I'm still trying to figure out what he did to change Baby Sara into Baby JJ."

 

"Does this mean I can be off of time out?" Rene asked as he passed out snacks and drinks.

 

"It's just LFR...you can rage there all you want," Dinah said with a shrug.  "There's no way in hell that anyone's going to actually do mechanics."  Oliver looked over at Dinah, who seemed half irked and half expectant.  He settled into place, ready to prove himself.  She looked over at him.  "You and I as tanks, this should be good."

 

"Hope so," Oliver said with a smile as he looked from Dinah and then back to the screen.  

 

"Crap," Curtis said. 

 

"We can't queue for LFR with six people," Felicity filled in before a 'what' could be asked.

 

"I can step out," Oliver quickly offered.

 

"No, no...we can do this on normal."

 

"I mean, you should be fine on normal, Oliver," Curtis said as he looked over at him.  

 

Now he really felt like he needed to prove himself.  This wasn't exactly fooling around.  He remembered Curtis explaining the different difficulties and they'd run some of LFR, but it hadn't been too helpful since apparently no one actually followed the mechanics of each fight.  This would be a real test for him.  He tried to remember what Curtis told him as he also looked over who he'd be playing with.  

 

Thea was a pally, Curtis was a warlock, Rene was a rogue, and Felicity was a mage.  They were all dps.  Dinah was a death knight and a tank.  They'd be in charge of the group they'd be running with.  At least, if they had a small group, then the majority of the group would be the people sitting right there with him.  He was hoping for that.  Would take some of the stress off of him.  

 

As they set up to queue for people in premades, they moved their characters towards the Tomb of Sargeras entrance.  He kept going over the right rotation.  Mangle.  Gore.  Moonfire.  Thrash.  Maul.  Swipe.  Repeat.  All he wanted was to be somewhat descent.  Also, he'd sort of found himself liking the game.  He still thought he might be a good hunter, with a lot of practice, but he liked the bear.  It was fun and it was the leader.  The job of the tank was also to protect the group and act as a meat shield.  It was something he was familiar with and find it easy to fall into.  

 

They entered the green swirl that was the instance entrance.  

 

"You sure about this?" Felicity asked him.

 

"It's going to be fun."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

  
TBC…

  
  
  
  



	8. Words Fail

Felicity was curled up in his arms and it was one of his favorite moments of the entire day.  A moment that he wished didn't have to be so fleeting.  There was always this brief wondering if he could just get away with them both staying in bed for the entire day, to leave the rest of the world behind.  

 

They couldn't.

 

His alarm went off and he reached out begrudgingly and silenced it with a groan.  

 

"Five more minutes," Felicity mumbled as she tightened her hold on him.  

 

Oliver didn't argue.

 

"I want to do this every morning…" she whispered.

 

He scooted just a bit so that his lips could brush a kiss to her forehead.  Oliver's fingers pushed her hair out of her face.  "We can."  He leaned in and kissed her lips, passion taking over on both sides.  The kiss lengthened and deepened.  Eventually though, it broke.  He stared at her, a bright smile spreading across his face.  She was so beautiful, though she always was...breathtakingly so.  "Tap my heart," he whispered as he used two fingers to tap over where his heart was.  

 

It seemed to only make her brighten and that warmed him.  Nothing made him happier than seeing her happy.  

 

"I know you worry," Felicity whispered.  

 

"I'm allowed to," he reminded.  

 

"I'm going to be fine," Felicity told him.  "Walking or not."

 

"I know that."

 

"Do you?"

 

"Mostly," Oliver admitted.  It was hard for him to feel like he was giving up, even though he had no control over the situation.  Felicity's body had to heal on its own time, if it ever did, in order to accept the implant.  He couldn't hurry that along.  It was on a timetable that no one could dictate and that was beyond frustrating.  Sometimes he wondered how she stayed as bright and positive as she did.  

 

Felicity patted his arm and then pushed herself up a bit to kiss him again.  "Good.  Also, breakfast…"

 

He smiled and nodded.  "I think I can handle making breakfast."

 

Oliver sat up and threw his legs over the edge of the bed before pulling on a pair of pajama pants.  It was a habit he'd gotten into, since so many people had a key to their loft now...far too many people had seen him in his boxers (mainly Curtis, which had resulted in startled squeaking sounds).  

 

He was halfway down the stairs when there was a knock at the door.  Brow furrowing in confusion on who could be there and be there that early (also, who would be knocking).  Nevertheless, he made his way to the door and swung it open after quickly checking the peephole.  Oliver was even more confused at who he found.  

 

"My darling Oliver!" Donna Smoak exclaimed before throwing her arms around him.  "I came as soon as Quentin called!"  She pulled back, still ahold of his upper arms.  "Why didn't you call me?  What were you thinking?!"

 

Donna had already allowed herself in and dropped her bags inside the door, Quentin was closing the door behind them both and just gave him a shrug.  Oliver knew that this was likely to come up, but he also knew that there were always pros and cons to Donna being in Star City.  "We were going to…" he rambled.  When she turned and gave him a look that told him that she knew better than that, he realized that it reminded him of a look that Felicity gave him when she was calling him out for crap she didn't believe.  "But now you're here...in Star City."

 

"Where's my Felicity?"

 

"Upstairs, still in bed," Oliver said.  "I was just going to make breakfast.  Why don't you and Quentin stay for breakfast?  I'll go up and let Felicity know that you're here--"

 

"I don't know why you don't just convert some of this downstairs space into a bedroom, so that Felicity has better access," Donna said as she motioned around.  "It just seems like the smarter thing to do--"

 

"Okay, Donna," Quentin said gently as he put his arms around her and guided her towards the kitchen.  "Maybe we can talk about this later."

 

"Do you think I'm wrong?"

 

"I didn't say that," Oliver could hear Quentin say as he led Donna towards the kitchen.  

 

This wasn't exactly how he expected things to go that morning and he wasn't sure what Felicity was going to take of it all.  Oliver took one last look at their retreating forms before climbing up to the bedroom.  Felicity was sitting there on the edge of the bed and it was clear that she had been awake to hear everything.  "I didn't know," Oliver said in defense almost immediately.

 

"I know," she said with a slight sigh.  "I just know she hates seeing me like this...and then she fusses more than normal."

 

Oliver leaned in and kissed her before scooping her up.  He knew that Felicity always felt like she was somehow negatively impacting his day because there were parts where she needed help, but he never saw it like that.  "Maybe she'll be less worried because the engagement is back on?"

 

"Yeah, she'll definitely have other questions with that," Felicity pointed out.   "But more than anything, the engagement will only serve as a minor distraction."  

 

Maybe she was right.

 

He'd respected Felicity's wishes about her mother being there and knowing, but now this was out of both of their hands.  He hadn't called Donna, but rather it had been Quentin.  Oliver realized that it must have been difficult for the older man, who had loved Donna Smoak and things had ended...unexpectedly and quickly.  For him to be the one to call her and bring her here, it spoke volumes about his love of Felicity.

 

For the moment, he knew that he wasn't needed up there, but he could still sense the tension in her.  He pressed a kiss to the side of her head and squeezed her.  "I'll go down and get breakfast started and try to keep your mother distracted…"

 

"I thought that's what Quentin was doing?" she asked quietly.

 

"It has to be awkward."

 

"So is your mother being called by someone else...after the fact," Felicity pointed out.

 

She wasn't wrong.

 

"Are you saying that he deserves the awkwardness?"

 

"Maybe…"

 

He just smiled and pressed a kiss into her hair before heading downstairs.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"Am I never going to meet my grandson then?"

 

Felicity was the first one to react, almost instantly so, a startled choking on her coffee.  Oliver had been caught off guard as well by Donna's casual question between bites of french toast.  It hit him a beat and a half later, realizing that Quentin didn't look as shocked by Donna's outburst.  Not wanting things to go any further with Felicity's confusion at what her mother actually meant.  Or at least, it was what he  _ hoped _ that Donna meant.  "William is in Central City with his mother, but I'm sure there will be a time for you to meet him."

 

"I can't wait," Donna commented.

 

"How long are you going to stay, Mom?" Felicity questioned calmly.

 

"As long as you need me, of course."

 

"And of course we will be happy to have you here in Star City," Oliver spoke up.  "Though, I'm not sure what good company we'll be."

 

"Well, of course you're mayor now and you have to be terribly busy...but Felicity must be so lonely here while you're out working so hard," Donna said.

 

"Curtis is always here," Quentin pointed out.  "And Thea and--"

 

"That's not the same," Donna nearly immediately put out there.  "It should really be me here with Felicity while she's recovering."

 

Before, Donna had been there through it all.  She'd seen Felicity at death's door.  She'd seen her through physical therapy.  She'd seen her through so many struggles.  She'd seen her walk again.  Now, she saw her having lost it all going.  Oliver was certain that she had to be positive that it could all happen again, that Felicity would walk again...even though right now...it was up to the universe at that point.  Having Donna there could be good, but at the same time...he knew that she could push Felicity too far.  

 

"Mom, me staying here in the loft for extended periods of time is only a _ temporary _ thing," Felicity spoke up.  

 

"But I thought with you not being CEO of Palmer Tech anymore that that meant that you had nothing else to do," Donna said slowly and a bit confused.  "Or are you keeping something else from me?"

 

They were keeping a whole other life from Donna, but they had to.  She couldn't know about Team Arrow.  She'd be so terrified for Felicity and probably for all of them.  That was the last thing that they needed.  

 

"Curtis and I have actually been talking about doing a startup tech company."

 

"You haven't said anything about it to me," Oliver spoke up, surprised at what he was hearing.  He thought it was a good idea and obviously a good fit for their talents, plus it would give them a lot more flexibility compared to what they'd been able to do at Palmer Tech.  It made sense.  

 

"It's just been us going 'what about this?' back and forth," Felicity admitted.  "We don't even have a name or an actual plan."

 

"You'll figure it out."

 

"Is that really something that you want to do, though, Sweetie?" Donna asked Felicity.

 

"What do you mean?" Felicity asked in between bites.

 

Oliver could already tell by tones that this wasn't going anywhere good, but before he could open his mouth to say anything to distract from the current topic of conversation, Quentin spoke up.

 

"You know, it's amazing the things that Felicity and Curtis can do," Quentin said.  "I mean, past the whole regular technology thing…  I mean, Curtis made that thing that helped Felicity walk before."

 

Felicity seemed to brighten at Quentin's intervention.  "It was using other Palmer Technologies, but yes--"

 

"I just don't think it's realistic, Sweetie," her mother started up again.

 

This was not going to go anywhere good fast.

 

"So, Donna...Felicity and I were talking about dates," Oliver tried to distract.  He knew that it was just temporary, but at least it would give them some breathing time to figure out how to convince Donna that the tech startup was a good idea.  "I'm thinking that we should really have a big celebration, take some time to plan it…"  He purposely took a breath, leaving it open for someone else to say something in order to either keep the conversation going or give Donna a moment to switch to that subject to voice her opinion on.  

 

"You know, if I can put in my own two cents," Quentin said before Donna even had a chance to say anything.  "Life is short.  You two are perfect for each other.  Why wait?  Let's gather your closest friends and family and plan something small and something soon."

 

"You know, I have to agree with Quentin on this," Donna finally said.  "You two have been friends for so long and worked through so much already, do you really think that you honestly need another year or more just to plan a big event?  I don't think either of you want that anyways."

 

"Isn't it something that you want, though?" Felicity asked her mother.

 

Donna sighed and looked at Felicity.  "Sweetie, I have almost lost you too many times over the years...especially recently...and I just...I just want to see you happy.  I want you to both be happy together."

 

"I won't be able to walk down the aisle this time."

 

"You don't know that."

 

"The doctors have given a very low percentage that the implant would work again," Oliver spoke up, quiet and calm about the topic.

 

"And I have to wait to even try," Felicity added.  "They want to give it its best chance if we do try it again, which means more healing time."

 

"Are you sure that your doctor is the best?" Donna asked.

 

"Yes.  I'm sure."

 

"I just, I just want you to have the best day, Sweetie."

 

"And I will...if everyone I love is there...and everyone is happy for me."

 

That seemed to ease things.

 

"Now, back to your tech company idea, how are you going to focus on being a wife and being married if you're running a company?" Donna asked, flipping back to the previous subject quickly.  "I mean, don't get me wrong...I'm excited to meet William, but I'd like you two to give me more grandchildren."

 

He watched Felicity bring her palm up to cover her face.  He could feel the tension and didn't miss Quentin rolling his eyes either.  This was definitely not where they wanted this breakfast to go.  He'd hoped that she'd just focus on the wedding, but it really was never that easy when it came to Donna.  She just always had an idea in her head and she really wanted to see and know it would play out.

 

"We haven't really talked about all of that, Donna, but I can say for sure...I want Felicity to be happy...which is going to mean the startup company," Oliver said gently.  "She and Curtis could change the world with their company and their technologies."

 

"But what will people think?  You are the mayor, Oliver," Donna pointed out.

 

"And he's a damn fine one," Quentin spoke up again.  "The public also adores Felicity...and I never heard of anyone having an issue about what Felicity did for a career.  Honestly, I think they just see a strong, smart, and beautiful young woman who's in love with Oliver...so they fall in love with her too."

 

"I just thought that maybe being the wife of a mayor might be a bit more involved."

 

"Not quite the same as something like the first lady of the country."

 

"I just worry...is all."

 

"But there's no need," Oliver said gently.

 

And there wasn't.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


TBC…

  
  



	9. Believe You'll be Okay

"You sure you want to take time off to come with me?"

 

"You sure you're going to be okay that it's just the two of us going?" he shot back with a grin.

 

Felicity rolled her eyes in response and then looked out the passenger side window.  "I'd rather you come than Curtis, I think he actually gets more nervous about what the doctor says than you."

 

"Did you even tell your mom?" Oliver asked as he moved his attention back to the road.     
  
Her mother had been staying with them for two weeks already and things were awkward, even more than normal.  Felicity had expected things to be a little tense between her and her mother given how her mom got when she was hurt (there'd been past experience to pull from) and then on top of that...she'd expected things to be downright awkward because of Quentin.  Things had actually seemed to fall right into place between her mother and Quentin while things were just this weird level of awkward between her mother and her. Felicity wasn't sure if she was pushing her mother away, trying to be more independent and not wanting to be coddled or if it was something else.  

 

"Nope," Felicity said and looked over at him.  "I just...she would have wanted to come...and then my blood pressure would have been high and--"  She didn't miss the smile spread across his face.    
  
"Okay, okay…"  

 

"And she's going to want to know about the implant and get all upset if the doctor says that this is my life again," Felicity explained.  "But I can do things in the chair...I think I've more than proved that…"

 

"You have," Oliver confirmed and looked over at her for a moment before looking back at the road.  "Your mother just wants--"

 

Felicity sighed, she already knew what he was going to say.  "I know."

 

"She means well."

 

"I just feel horrible feeling that it's so much harder when she's here," Felicity admitted.  "I mean, I know she means well and she loves me and she just wants to help...and there are moments…"  She pushed out a breath and closed her eyes. "I just...it's so complicated."

 

"Why?"

 

"She's the only one who doesn't know that you're the Green Arrow," Felicity pointed out.

 

"I really don't know if that would get me points or take them away when it comes to your mother," Oliver pointed out.

 

"I feel like at this point, the fact that as long as we get married and she eventually gets to meet William...she probably really won't care at this point," Felicity told him honestly.  "Also, don't promise a baby anytime soon...because I'm not ready." She knew it was something that her mother would push for and Felicity just couldn't even think about that, plus she was still so young.  She and Oliver weren't even married yet and Felicity wanted to enjoy their honeymoon period...plus they had to figure out how to be a blended family with William in the mix (which she really didn't think would be too hard since he was such a good kid).  But there was just so much more she wanted to do with her life before they threw a baby into the mix.

 

"Noted," he said.

 

"Also, I've been thinking that we should go away somewhere that maybe is landlocked for our honeymoon," Felicity brought up.

 

"No beach?"

 

"I feel like Lian Yu has turned me off of islands and beaches for a little while," Felicity pointed out.     
  
"Fair."

 

Silence filled the vehicle as they drove and Felicity found that it only made her more anxious.  She really was glad that it was just her and Oliver for this doctor's appointment, otherwise she wasn't sure she'd be as close to calm as she was in that moment.  "Will you be disappointed?" Felicity suddenly asked, looking over at him.

 

"What?" Oliver mumbled as he glanced over.

 

"Will you be disappointed if I can't have the implant?"

 

"No."  A beat passed.  "Will you?"

 

That felt like such a loaded question.  She had so many thoughts and feelings on it.  Mostly, everything that made her feel like she'd be disappointed had to do with other people in her life.  She pushed that aside. Felicity knew that she could have her life and do everything that she wanted to do implant or not.  "No." 

 

He reached out and took her hand, squeezed it for a moment before bringing it up to his mouth and pressing a kiss to the back of it.  "I love you, no matter what, Felicity."

 

"I don't know if you feel that way when we all play video games," she teased to change the subject.  He just grinned like crazy for a moment. 

 

"I've explained this to you, it's not accurate--"

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"You're seriously not going to tell me?" 

 

"Nope."

 

"Felicity--"

 

"Curtis, I am not going to tell you what the doctor said," Felicity told him firmly.  "Oliver knows."

 

"He won't tell me."

 

Felicity grinned at that because it was so true.  The only person that was likely to get the information from Oliver was Thea.  "I know."

 

"But we're working on an upgraded version of the implant?"

 

"Well, we have to have tech in order to start our own company, right?"

 

Curtis made a face.  "Yeah…"

 

Felicity had a feeling that she was going to have to deal with grumpy Curtis if she didn't tell him, but at the same time she didn't want anyone else to know...plus, news would travel from Curtis.  He wasn't the best at keeping secrets, especially from the team...and her mother was just really good at getting information from everyone. "Are you going to be gloomy until you know?"

 

"I just feel like it's my fault because I designed it--"

 

She understood that and she felt bad in that moment.  Felicity reached out and covered his hand with hers. "Curtis, it's not your fault.  Chase was the one--"

 

"I know, but still--"

 

"Listen to me," Felicity told him seriously.  "I'm going to tell you because I think of you like a brother...who is not going to tell my mom."  She let a beat pass. "Right?"

 

"Right," Curtis then said quickly.

 

She didn't want him to worry about it or fret or just go on some kind of self induced guilt trip.  Felicity and Curtis had a lot in common and she knew that in his place, not knowing might eat away at her too and she just didn't need that right now.  They needed to focus on the future and moving forward. They needed to focus on tech and their company. "The doctor said that my spine looks better. There's still caution against using the implant, but with more healing and more time…"

 

"So right now, it's a maybe?"

 

"It's basically when I feel like it or if I decide I want it," Felicity explained.  "But I don't want my mom to know...to think that the implant is an option...because I don't know if I want to risk it."  She would always have the spinal injury from when Damien Darhk tried to have them killed and she was shot, but injuring it further...Felicity knew that her spinal cord wasn't something to gamble with.  

 

Curtis nodded on that.  "It could further injure your spine…"

 

"No offense to your design, Curtis.  We just get into dangerous situations in which the implant can either fail or be damaged," Felicity told him.

 

"So, in the meantime...we're just going to work on a better version?"

 

"Yep."

 

Curtis seemed to be taking that in for a moment and then shrugged.  "Okay." He paused and looked at her. "But first coffee?"

 

"Are you serious?" Felicity asked probably too seriously because Curtis looked confused for a moment.  " _ Always the coffee _ ..."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

" _ Are we hiding _ ?" 

 

"I...I don't know that we'd call it  _ that _ ," Felicity stumbled.  She shrugged and twirled a piece of her  hair around one of her fingers. "Would you call it that, Curtis?"

 

Curtis looked up and had clear confusion on his face.  "What? I mean, right...right…" He motioned around randomly.  "Better lighting here…"

 

"Right…" Thea told them both as she shook her head.  "Where's Ollie?" 

 

"He's on his way in," Felicity filled in.  

 

"Shouldn't you be like entertaining your mom?"

 

Felicity groaned.  "She hasn't texted me?  So...no?"

 

Thea just grinned in response to that.  

 

"What are you doing down here?" Curtis asked.  "Thinking about suiting up again?"

 

"Pass."

 

The elevator opened and not only Oliver stepped out, but Dinah and Diggle as well.  "Speedy," Oliver said, clear surprise in his voice. Then he eyed her and Curtis. "What are you two doing here?  I thought you'd be working at home? Where's your mom?"

 

Felicity just shrugged.  

 

He sighed and then looked to his sister.  "What's up?"

 

"I was hoping that next time you go to Central City to see William, I could go with you," Thea said.  "You know, get the cool aunt thing started in full force…"

 

"I'm not sure when that'll be, Speedy," Oliver told her.  "It's not just getting back to being the Green Arrow but being the mayor--"

 

"You can't just ignore him."

 

"I'm not, it's just--it's new...and I wanted to sort of give him and Samantha a little space so they can settle back in and get back to what's normal for them."

 

"This is also about the public not knowing about William, isn't it?"

 

That was something that Oliver wanted to keep a secret, mainly so that William and Samantha had privacy.  With everything that had happened, Felicity had to agree wholeheartedly with that decision. It was tricky, though, because they all wanted to be able to get to know William better.  Now that everything was out there in the open and there were not secrets or hiding between all of them that made it all easier...but at the same time after what Chase had done...there were still some hurdles they needed to surpass.

 

"Thea...I just...I don't feel like it's fair to William and Samantha…"

 

"You can't hide him forever."

 

"No," Oliver agreed.  "But I can at least wait and then have the right story as to me discovering William later in life without making anyone look bad to the press."

 

Thea nodded.  "Okay, okay...I just...I maybe just needed another outlet besides helping at the office."

 

"We still have your suit," Oliver clearly joked.

 

"Okay...I get that everyone misses me down here," Thea said a bit dramatically.

 

Felicity just smiled at Oliver's confused face.  He hadn't realized that Curtis had just brought up Thea wearing her suit.  She got why Thea didn't want to be part of Team Arrow anymore, but she did miss her being down there with them and being out in the field.  Even though the bigger the team, the more things going on...it also meant that that was another person watching everyone else's back. 

 

"You know what we should do?" Felicity said aloud.  "Family dinner. Make it a regular thing...even if it's Chinese down here…"

 

"I like that idea," Curtis chimed in.

 

"I don't mind that idea," Dinah said as she moved to look at what Curtis was doing.  

 

Oliver moved up onto the platform and over to her before pressing a kiss to her temple.  "How are you doing?"

 

"I haven't electrocuted myself or burned my fingertips, so I'm going to go with really good," Felicity said with a smile.  

 

"Have you even talked to your mom today?"

 

"No?"

 

Oliver sighed in response.

 

"You know what I can totally do and you'll see she's fine.  She's probably just at her hotel ordering room service and like using the hot tub, taking it easy," Felicity told him.  "I'll use a facial recognition search."

 

"Don't we normally use that kind of thing solely for bad guys?" Curtis asked slowly. 

 

Felicity shrugged and typed like crazy.  "Does it really matter? I have the skills and equipment...I might as well use them.  Plus, this way I don't have to call her and have to hear her go off on a tangent...and if I text her...it's seriously like a fifty-fifty chance that she'll remember to press send on the message she typed out as a response."  Soon enough, Donna's face was up on a screen and dots mapped out her face before there was a search within the Star City's limits going on. It took about three minutes before her mother was located. "Well, that's not the hotel," Felicity said aloud.  

 

"Can we get a closer look?" 

 

"Yep," Felicity replied and typed away.  A moment later, there was a clear picture of her mother sitting at a table in outside seating of a restaurant...and she wasn't alone.  

 

"Shut up," Thea said loudly.

 

"It's about freaking time," Felicity mumbled.  Her mother was out to dinner with Quentin, they were drinking wine, and they both looked like they were having a great time.

 

"Well, I don't think we can be upset with Quentin about calling your mom now," Oliver told her.  "Hopefully things work out and they're both happier."

 

"Everyone cross fingers and pray to whatever you pray to."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC...


End file.
